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Thursday, March 01, 2012

Some Well Written Books


Sometimes when I'm reading I just want a good story. If the writing is passable that's all I need because I'm just there for the story. It's kind of like watching Law and Order-- I have a cousin who gets on me because it's not realistic. (She's an ADA so she knows.) "I don't care," I tell her. "I just want to know who did it." Sometimes it's like that with a book-- I don't care about the writing. I just want to know what happens-- that's what has me turning pages.

But sometimes it's about the writing, and the story isn't the driving force. While I'm engaged in what's happening, I'm more in awe of what the writer is capable of. It's like watching Cirque on the Oscars the other night-- to witness that kind of ability is pretty amazing and more than a little inspiring. So today I'm going to share a few recent books that have been that for me:


The Weird Sisters: I love Eleanor Brown. She can write. The Weird Sisters is a book about sisters and how birth order dictates our place in the family-- but also our place in the world, to an extent. When three sisters return home ("We came home because we were failures.") to help care for their mother who has cancer, they find themselves reverting to who they were, but also striving to break out of those roles-- to redefine themselves beyond who their family says they are. The Weird Sisters isn't a book where a lot happens per se. Not on the outside. But a lot of change is going on inside these three sisters. If you're a person who likes really strong writing, I recommend savoring this book for two reasons-- this is a book where the author took her time to write it. It never once feels rushed or hurried. And also the use of the interesting "We" narrator-- it is the sisters, plural, telling the story. While it's been done before, it hasn't been done much and Eleanor did a great job pulling off this unique point of view.



Alice Bliss: I loved Alice. I loved her pluck. I loved her outlook. I loved her resilience. I loved how she survived even when her world was coming apart. If you've ever been a teenage girl, you will identify with Alice. Laura Harrington is another author who worked to make this book good. She's not just there to spit out a story. She's there to show what a well-written book can elicit in its reader. Each character was real and memorable, developed to the point that I felt I knew them. Like Eleanor's book, Alice Bliss didn't feel rushed. I could tell Laura Harrington worked to choose the right word, to make each sentence pack all the punch possible. Again this story is less about what happens and more about how the characters are changed by what happens. A novel about a young girl whose father is deployed, and how she and her mother and sister cope with his absence and the fears of letting him go, I dare you to read this novel and not be moved by Alice, and by Laura's talent.



The Arrivals: There are lines from this novel I still think of. I loved the writing, how the tension in the house seems to hum along the lines of prose. A story about empty nesters who, through several different turns of events, end up with all their adult children back home for a summer, this was another novel where not much happens. They're all just sort of existing in this house, dealing with their stuff, as they learn to live together again. But again, it's the writing that powers this novel. You're not there to turn pages quickly. You're there to read and to think, to be those characters in that situation-- father, mother, daughter, wife, husband, daughter in law. You're there to decide what you would do if it were you. Because that's what the best fiction does-- it engages you to such a degree that you become that character. That's you in that struggle, you making that decision, you feeling that doubt.




I recommend all of these novels to anyone who's looking for strong writing. It's fun to see writers flex their muscles on the page. That's what you'll get with these.
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Wednesday, February 29, 2012

It's Wednesday!


On Wednesdays I send along a little reminder to check out my weekly post at Southern BelleView. This week we're celebrating our love of reading, and the writing process. I reposted a post I wrote for She Reads about why I love reading so much. Perhaps you'll venture over and share what you talk about when you talk about reading.

And speaking of reading, don't forget to venture over to She Reads and hear from Erica Bauermeister, our author of the month. Her book Joy For Beginners is one to read if you haven't. And her other book The School of Essential Ingredients is just delicious. Very soon we're announcing our March pick-- one we're very excited about. The author is a Christian who has ventured into the general market with her newest title. Stay tuned to find out who it is!
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Tuesday, February 28, 2012

The Half Page To Do List


Sometimes a full page to-do list is just too much. Because you are tired or hormonal or angry at your spouse or it's raining outside. You just don't have it in you to tackle that looong list of stuff that needs doing. Looking at it depresses you.

Yet there's still stuff that needs doing.

That's when the half page to-do list comes in handy. Take a normal sheet of paper that you use, and literally fold it in half. Then write your bare bones, have-to-do-this-or-the-world-will-stop, list on that half page. Write the other stuff on a longer list another day. A day when you have more energy, more happy, more motivation. But don't beat yourself up about the half page days. We all have em.

(For you techie types who have all this on electronic gadgets, just ignore this advice-- this will not apply to you. I still love paper, paper, paper. I realize that makes me backwards and I fully accept that. Embrace it, in fact.)
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Monday, February 27, 2012

The Oscars


Last night was the first time I've actually watched the Oscars all the way through in years. Though I've watched bits of it in years past, I haven't sat through the entire thing since Titanic was up. But this year I wanted to watch because The Help was up-- and I really, really wanted it to win Best Picture.


It did not. :(


Stupid The Artist. I saw someone on Twitter say they've never been so tired of French people and I concur. I was tired of The Artist folks trekking up to the stage. Yes, I was bitter. I've heard the movie was good and I guess I'm not giving it a chance. But really? A silent film? For someone who loves words, it just doesn't sound appealing.


At least Octavia Spencer won Best Supporting for her role as Minnie in The Help. And who didn't get at least a bit misty eyed at her acceptance speech? To me her speech and Meryl's were the best. And, if someone had to beat out Viola Davis, I was glad it was Meryl. She exudes class. And when she thanked her husband and they looked at each other and he put his hand over his heart? Perhaps I am gullible but that looked genuine. I love that they are a couple that has endured in Hollywood.


Other highlights for me:
"Man or Muppet" winning Best Original Song-- granted there were only 2 songs up in that category, but I was glad to see it win. My 6yo daughter and I love that song. It makes us laugh every time we see the video, which is more than you might think.


William Joyce winning for "The Fantastic Flying Books of Mr. Morris Lessmore." Here is a link to a story about that: http://www.ksla.com/story/17022535/the-fantastic-books-of-morris-lessmore-wins-oscar


Watching the awards with my son, who loves movies as much as I do. He did tell me to stop saying "Wow, Hugo is racking up!" every time they got another award. So that made me say it more, and louder.


The Cirque de Soleil tribute to the Oscars. I love Cirque and can only imagine how amazing that was to be in that audience with people flying around over your head like that. The Cirque people are just so... flexible. A true tribute to what the human body is capable of.


Billy Crystal hosting. A lot of people were tweeting that they didn't like him as host, but it was sentimental for me to see him back up there.
I'd seen a lot of the movies that were up this year, which is why I sat through it. I was more invested in it because I had a personal buy-in. Usually I don't know anything about the movies in question-- they're too artsy and obscure.


And back to The Artist, one thing I took away from it winning the big awards was that doing something different really does pay off. I think it got a lot of attention because it was different. In writing you hear a lot of talk about "following the trends." But it's the books that are original and different that really strike a chord in the hearts of the people. People are looking for something different than the same old thing. We'd all do well to keep that in mind as we respond to our own original, unique callings. Passion and commitment can take us far.


And finally, it wouldn't be a post about the Oscars without a comment on the couture. My favorite dress? Penelope Cruz's. If I went to the Oscars that's what I would wear. She looked lovely.


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Thursday, February 23, 2012

Collaging My Stories, A Good Idea


Reading: the new issue of Writer's Digest

On my iPod: Raise Your Glass by Pink ("Don't be fancy, just get dancey...")

I am thinking I need to do this for this new novel I'm starting on. Now if I could just find the time apart from actually writing the thing...

http://www.jennycrusie.com/for-writers/essays/picture-this-collage-as-prewriting-and-inspiration/#container

I did kind of start this for my books on Pinterest. If you're on there, look for me and check out the bard I created for my upcoming novel The Guest Book.
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Wednesday, February 22, 2012

It's Wednesday!


Which means I'm posting over at Southern Belle View. Today I'm talking about what I love about the South. It was hard to keep it short. Come share what you love about the south, or what you love about where you live!

And also remember to check out the latest postings over at She Reads where we talk about books that will keep you turning pages long after your bedtime.
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Tuesday, February 21, 2012

A Random List of Things I Love


Pioneer Woman's list last week inspired me to write my own list of things I love and-- while I know Valentine's Day is past-- I still wanted to capture this list that's been rolling around in my head since I read hers.

I love (in no certain order)...

reading

being Southern

being married

music

Sirius radio

the NC coast

my white noise app on my iphone

my ipad

my kids' faces

my husband's hands

sarcasm

my Friday night at 5 glass of wine

vacations

Carly Simon

flowers in a mason jar

cookbooks

rivers, creeks, streams, ponds, lakes, oceans-- bodies of water

the 80's

writing when I'm not on deadline

being alone

my mom

candlelight

chocolate

pasta

strawberries

writer friends

laughter

writing down my gifts

Sarah Addison Allen books

dresses

having exercised

my crazy jumping dog

blue eyes

filet mignon

soy sauce and wasabi, mixed

John Hughes movies

sheets with a high thread count

Cherry Coke Zero

vanilla ice cream with homemade hot fudge

family around the table

my car

my house

lip gloss

a clean kitchen sink

hummingbirds

daisies

blue

pink

snow falling

pens

new journals

egg salad on toast

having sons

having daughters

kosher dill pickles

Charleston SC

Pringles

the Pulpwood Queens

chocolate chip cookies

new books released by my favorite authors

french bread

date night with my husband

anticipation

Frank Sinatra

The Blue Nile

David Gray

Icehouse (the group, not the beer)

the library

Dunkin Donuts coffee with cream and Splenda

thirtysomething on dvd

soup

being a homebody

books about writing

writing conferences

dancing

baking

centerpieces

necklaces

Law and Order (any of them)

beautiful things

little girls in tutus

climbing into clean sheets on a made bed (hospital corners!)

screened-in porches

porch swings

fresh air

going barefoot

flip flops

summer days

winter nights

fireflies

a perfectly toasted marshmallow

my husband's popcorn

giving gifts

good surprises

movies that make me cry

movies that make me laugh

lists

big breakfasts

talking to my teenagers
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Monday, February 20, 2012

Pens With Eyes


Just a quote I've been thinking about: "There are eyes in pencils and in pens." John Piper



Recently as I was adding to my list of 1000 gifts, I wrote this as one of them: "writing my way to the answer." The pen saw the answer before I did, the words coming out of it before I knew they were there. It is a miraculous thing when I sit down to journal my way to the truth, even when the truth seems far from me, and I arrive at it. Sometimes I can't name the weight sitting on my chest, but the pen can. And after it sees it for me, I sit and stare at the words on the page. "Oh," I think. "Oh yes."



If you don't journal you might want to try it. Incorporate it into your quiet time each morning, writing your way to the truth of God's love for you, His plan for you, what He's trying to say in your life. Let the pen show you what it sees. I guarantee at times it will totally surprise you.




The pen pictured is my current favorite-- a Uni Ball Vision Elite. Love the way the ink flows from this pen like water spilling over the edge of one of those infinity pools. Come to think of it, I should probably add that pen to my 1000 gifts list.
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Sunday, February 19, 2012

Sunday Salon


Several of the book bloggers I follow write posts on Sunday called "Sunday Salon" where they recap their week and talk about the week to come. Today since I felt like writing, I decided to attempt to do just that.

Today is the first day since the surgery that I've felt like myself. I woke up with more energy and actually can think of eating a food that's not white (I've lived off chicken noodle soup, french bread, grits, cereal, etc. since Thursday.) I even felt like writing this post, which is saying something. Yesterday I thought of trying to get some writing done and the mere thought made me feel like hiding under the covers. What a difference a day makes.

While I do feel better I'm determined not to push it. So today as it rains outside I've decided to finish the book I've been reading, watch a movie Curt rented for me from Redbox, and glean some more wisdom from the copy of On Writing I fished off the bookshelf the other day. Stephen King knows his stuff. (Duh!) I could do nothing but post quotes from that book on here and take up a week's worth of posts. And I just might do that.

I also spent some wonderful time in Isaiah this morning and journaled for the first time since February 13th. I love journaling but sometimes I take unexpected and unplanned breaks from it. Tomorrow I'm writing about journaling though, about the magic of it. Because I do believe in it-- and I miss it when I don't do it. Journaling makes me feel closer to God, connected and invested. My spiritual life suffers when I don't include it in my morning quiet times.

I also plan to shower today. This is also an improvement, trust me.

Tomorrow and Tuesday the kids are out of school. I expect by Wednesday we'll all be bucking for some normalcy. I'm hoping to have written 10,000 words of my new novel by this time next week. I know that sounds like a lofty goal but my deadline got moved up and knowing I've written NOT ONE WORD is weighing on me. If I was 10,000 words in I'd be 1/8th of the way done-- and that would at least feel like something. That's 1500 words per day, every day, starting tomorrow. Hoping I can tell this story well. I see so much potential, if I can only sort out how to get to the heart of it... and discover what the true heart of it is. I think I know-- but I don't want what I think I know inhibit what could be.

Finally, the photo at the top is not one I took. It's one that came up when I googled "winter scene." I wish that was the scene outside my window. I'm in the mood for one good snow. We haven't even come close here in the midst of one of the warmest winters I can remember in quite some time. For now I will content myself with a photo, and while I'm at it I can pretend that I feel good enough to go for a long walk down that snow-covered road. Happy Sunday, wherever you are, whatever you're doing. And by all means, take a long walk down a snow covered road if you can!
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Friday, February 17, 2012

Shut Down Mode


On my iPod: Under The Milky Way by The Church

Reading:

My computer does this weird thing with the colors showing up funny if I've had the thing on too long without shutting it down. I am NO tech genius so I have no idea what it is or how to stop it. I just know that once the colors start looking wonky it's time to shut the thing down. So I shut it down and then... voila! It comes back up fine.

Turns out my computer needs to shut down sometimes.

You know where this is going, don't you?

I had a hellacious past couple weeks getting my copyedits done and holding down the homefront while my husband traveled constantly. Plus I'm keeping a child now every day after school and let me just tell you that when people joke around about "oh what's one more?" they know not of what they speak. Because "just one more" is just enough to throw off my carefully balanced life. But we're working through it and I'm glad I'm doing it-- he's a nice kid and he needed a place to stay every afternoon while his mom works and I make a little bit of pocket money that pays for things like my Dunkin Donuts coffee habit and the occasional lunch with a friend. And I'm glad he doesn't have to be in the daycare center he was in where a kid punched him in the stomach. That hurt my heart.

But anyway, all of that stuff I just listed? It made my colors go wonky. Things went from watercolor to technicolor.

So this week as the edits got turned in and the surgery approached it was everything in me to dive right into my new novel that needs writing, to work on this ebook idea I've had, to write blog posts and return emails and... do more work. But instead I went into shut down mode. I did some shopping. I talked on the phone with friends. I met some folks for lunch. I cooked. I read good books. I rested. I watched some mindless shows I'd DVR'ed but not taken the time to watch.

And when things popped into my head that needed doing I jotted them down... on next week's list. And I reasoned that life wasn't going to end if I took some time to shut down. And slowly, the garish technicolor faded into a muted, soft watercolor. And I felt myself exhale.

Shut down mode.

Give it a try.

(PS. As I wrote this post I kept picturing this video.)
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Thursday, February 16, 2012

Hiding The Holes


On my iPod: Long Long Way To Go by Phil Collins


Reading: 1ooo Gifts by Ann Voskamp



See that topiary? It sits in my guest bath-- a little kitschy thing I picked up at a craft fair years ago. I think it might be just for Christmas but it matches my decor so I leave it out year-round. I stuck it in our guest bathroom and honestly I didn't think about it very much after that. I hardly ever go in that bathroom, after all. (My kids clean it.)


But recently I noticed something about this topiary. Pieces of the bark-type stuff that is glued to the foam ball had fallen off, leaving an ugly hole. I wondered how many guests in our guest bathroom had seen this less-than-lovely sight? So I did what any self-respecting homemaker would do. I simply turned the topiary around and hid the hole. Good as new.


After I walked out of the bathroom an analogy came to me: about holes and our tendency to want to hide them. My reflexive action of turning the topiary around wasn't even something I thought about. I just wanted things to look nice. Even if they weren't-- I could project the image they were by hiding what was really there. And so it is with lots of things-- the kind of mom I am, the kind of wife I am, the state of our finances, what I really think of certain people, things that happen to me, that hurt me. I figure out as quickly as possible how I can hide those holes.


I think that's what this new direction with my blog is all about-- it's an effort to not hide the holes, to show some of the ugly. But I find I'm still trying to put a pretty face on things. It's my go-to, my reflex. I don't want to tell you that I cuss and I drink and I listen to that rock and roll music (you're supposed to hear the grandparents in Sixteen Candles when you read that). I don't want to tell you that I have some pretty ugly thoughts and urges or that I'm not really a nice person at all. I don't want to be vulnerable about some things that have hurt me recently, have left me reeling and honestly questioning not my faith but the people who purport to share it. I struggle with still wanting to hide those holes.


Because holes? They're unsightly. No one wants to see those... or do they?

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Wednesday, February 15, 2012

It's Wednesday!


On my iPod: Magic by America (kickin it old school)

My post is up over at Southern Belle View! Today I shared some tips for having a better marriage. We're all sharing our relationship tips this week. The wise women I blog with have some good stuff to share. So if love is on your mind this Valentine week, that's the place to be!

As always, remember to check out She Reads-- we're sharing posts from our selected author of the month, Erica Bauermeister, who is one of my writing heroes. Seriously, you should read either or both of her lovely lovely books. I want to be her when I grow up. No kiddin.
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Monday, February 13, 2012

My Thoughts On The Vow And An Interview With The Real Couple Behind The Movie


On my iPod: Make Tomorrow by Peter Gabriel (with Paul Buchanan)

Reading: Story by Robert McKee

Last Wednesday my friend Jill and I got to see a preview of The Vow. I'd seen the trailer and was already planning to see it, so when I got invited to see it in advance, I was thrilled. I'm not going to go into a lot of detail about the movie because I think honestly the trailer does a good job of expressing what the movie is about. Unlike some trailers you don't see all the best moments in the film and it doesn't give it all away. Rachel McAdams is just beautiful, as always. Channing Tatum is not usually my favorite but he did a good job. Here's a brief summary:

Paige and Leo (Rachel McAdams and Channing Tatum) are a happy newlywed couple whose lives are shattered by a car accident that puts Paige in a coma. Waking up with severe memory loss, Paige has no memory of Leo or their marriage, a confusing relationship with her parents (Sam Neill and Jessica Lange), and an ex-fiancé (Scott Speedman) she may still have feelings for. Despite these obstacles, Leo endeavors to win her heart again and vows to love her and rebuild their marriage.

What I really want to say about the movie is that it's based on a true story. And when I first saw the trailer I thought "what an imaginative premise for a movie." Well I had no idea it was based on real people. And to make things even better, I got to talk to them! First, here's a bit about them:

Based off of their 2000 book “The Vow: The Kim & Krickett Carpenter Story, I can’t tell you how extraordinary their story is. They fell in love and married. But due to a car accident just two months after their wedding, Krickett lost all her memory of Kim and their union! Through their shared faith, Kim’s patience and Krickett’s compassion, the couple fell in love all over again and recently celebrated their 18th wedding anniversary!!! Currently living in New Mexico with their two children, Kim works in local government and Krickett is a substitute teacher.

And here's what I learned in our conversation:

Kim and Krickett are real people in a real marriage. That's what stood out to me the most-- while they are thrilled with the movie, and that it was number one at the box office-- they just want to use this entire event as an opportunity to share their message: one of hope, but also one of what real love takes. Kim said, "People have used words like 'miraculous' and 'heroic' to describe our story, but really we just did what we said we were going to do in honoring our vows. In our world today, doing that gets you recognition." He noted that a few decades ago, "til death do us part" meant the actual death of a soulmate." But in our time, it's come to mean the death of a marriage. He emphasized that, while he and Krickett have an amazing story, their day to day lives now consist of working at their marriage like the rest of us. Most of all, Kim and Krickett hope this movie (and the book they've just released) inspires people who are struggling in marriage to keep working at it and for people who are thinking about getting married to go into it with a sense of what marriage takes.

I asked them about the whole experience of having their life story made into a movie, and here's what they had to say:

On how close the movie is to the real thing: "Some things are exact. The car accident was a different accident entirely. Of course it's hard to tell a 19 year old story in 104 minutes but the crux of the story is intact. The studio took some artistic liberties we wouldn't have taken, but overall we're happy with the movie. Channing and Rachel spent time with us, studied interviews of us, watched us closely, and read parts of the book to prepare. They nailed it."

On what people in their lives think of all this: "We have the support of the people in our life. The recent attention has re-reminded our friends how special the story is. We've gotten congratulatory messages from our friends and are blessed to have their support."

On their kids: Krickett says, "They're the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow." And Kim says, "They're the blessings of our vow." The kids have been part of it all, and have traveled with their parents from the east to the west coast to interviews and appearances and been real troupers. "This is a priceless lesson for them to carry on in their legacy," Kim says.

On walking the red carpet at the premiere: Krickett says, "I got to be a princess for a day." And Kim adds, "It was a lot of fun. Like a second wedding for us."

To see pictures of Kim and Krickett and learn more about their recently released book-- which has a LOT more details and the rest of the story of their marriage-- go to www.facebook.com/TheVowBook.

Thank you Kim and Krickett for inspiring us and for sharing your real-life love story!
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Looking At The Week Ahead


Listening to: Where Do Broken Hearts Go by Whitney Houston

I'm reading: Little Gale Gumbo by Erika Marks

This week promises to be busy. My copyedits were due today, which meant I turned them in and then ran a bunch of errands that hadn't gotten done because I was in constant editing mode. I rode around listening to the Whitney Houston tribute station on Sirius and have been humming her songs ever since. While I was running errands, I managed to find some cute spring/summer clothes for my youngest. Marshalls had just gotten a shipment and I snagged 7 complete outfits for $118. I know it's early to be thinking spring but in a few months I will be SO GLAD I went ahead and bought her stuff. Only five more to buy for... ahem.

Looking ahead to the rest of the week...

A phone interview with the real couple who inspired the movie The Vow, brunch with a friend and Valentine's class parties on Tuesday. Our traditional family Valentine's dinner on Tuesday night, complete with red food (spaghetti), red drink (Cherry 7Up), and these cupcakes for dessert. (Confession: I'm looking forward to them a bit too much.) I've got Bible/book study on Wednesday morning and a story consult conference call Wednesday night. And Thursday morning I have surgery scheduled. It's not a big deal but I will be out of commission Thursday and Friday. And somewhere in all of that I need to start writing my new novel. Ah, the life of a busy mom. The word abundant comes to mind...

I'd appreciate your prayers for my surgery. And because I know you're curious as to why I'm having surgery, without going into a lot of detail, I'll just say get a mammogram. Because they can find stuff and get to it before it becomes a problem. I'm certainly glad I got mine, and glad that it's not cancer and-- because I'm having this surgery-- won't have a chance to become cancer. If you've put off having a mammogram, consider this your Public Service Announcement: Do it.

I'll be back this week with a review of The Vow and inside info on the real couple behind the story, Kim and Krickett Carpenter. I've also got a few random thoughts I'll share with you about hiding holes and pens with eyes and shut down mode.

Hope to see you here!
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Friday, February 10, 2012

Good Quote About Writing What You Know


I came to an understanding of what I think 'write what you know' means. To me, it means taking the emotions you’ve felt through your real life experiences and transposing those onto your fictional characters. Something good has happened to my main character – how do I describe it? How do I feel when something good happens to me?

I think that this is how you write characters that seem true to life; not because they are based on real-life characters, but because their reactions to your imagined situations are true to life.

Quote by Catherine McKenzie from post on Writer Unboxed
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Thursday, February 09, 2012

The One Where I Write About Dichotomies


Listening To: the soundtrack from the Jane Austen Book Club, arranged by Aaron Zigman (love listening to soundtracks when I'm writing)

Reading: The Weird Sisters by Eleanor Brown

Lately I've been enjoying being home. Taking good care of my kids, my house, attending to my home life in a way that could be described as thorough. And it's been good, satisfying on a personal level. I love investing in my home-- meals, groceries, decorating, errands, volunteering at school.

It's rewarding in its own way. An end to my means.

But.

It's not my only job and, lately, I've been aware that in all this homefront investment, I've been neglecting the writing that needs to be done. This reality kept creeping in, a long bony finger reaching out to tap me on the shoulder and whisper in my ear in a menacing way, "You're not writing." Mostly I tried to ignore the sinister voice... but long bony fingers? They've got more of a reach than you might think.

This past weekend my husband and I talked through the stress that this dichotomy was causing.

di·chot·o·my   /daɪˈkÉ’tÉ™mi/ Show Spelled[dahy-kot-uh-mee] Show IPA
noun, plural -mies.
1. division into two parts, kinds, etc.; subdivision into halves or pairs.
2. division into two mutually exclusive, opposed, or contradictory groups: a dichotomy between thought and action.
3. Botany . a mode of branching by constant forking, as in some stems, in veins of leaves, etc.
4. Astronomy . the phase of the moon or of an inferior planet when half of its disk is visible.

Yep, that word describes it-- being divided into two parts-- my writing and my home. Both must be attended to. Both bring me their own type of joy. Both are what I was created to do. And yet both seem to war with each other-- which is where the "mutually exclusive, opposed or contradictory" part of the definition comes into play.

So this weekend my husband and I talked it over, because he's who I go to whenever I'm feeling uncertain because he has this wonderful (and very male) ability to see past all the emotion and just go to the black and white facts of the matter. He helped me see that what I need to get back to is some good old-fashioned discipline. (Yeah, I hate that word too.) I'd let my home life swallow up my writing life in one greedy gulp. It felt good, easy, natural, so it was easy to feed.

Once I headed down that path, I couldn't quite see my way back out. Curt helped me to see (in the way that only an honest husband can) that I must put the brakes on, do a three point turn, and get back to the place where I could live life in both camps. Mutually exclusive, yes. But also possible to do both. With some discipline. (Yeah, that word again.)

So this week for me is about getting the discipline back. Discipline to TURN OFF THE DISTRACTIONS and write. Discipline to prioritize what needs doing first and actually do those things first. Discipline to do the things that can't be done with children in the house when the CHILDREN ARE NOT IN THE HOUSE. (I know this is basic, but bear with me.) Discipline to designate errands to one day only. Discipline to actually get on the treadmill and exercise instead of just gripe that I can't find the time anymore. And finally, discipline to get away from SO MUCH TV. I'd have time to read all the novels I need to read for She Reads if I'd just read instead of watch it at night. And really, what is another episode of Law and Order or Cold Case going to do for me?

My life has felt out of control because I haven't even tried to control it. And so that's what's on my mind right now-- developing a plan that gets both halves of my life back in balance.

"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit." Aristotle
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Wednesday, February 08, 2012

The One Where I Send You To My Other Blogs


On My iPod: What Have I Done To Deserve This by Pet Shop Boys

Reading: The February issue of Southern Living Magazine


This week over at Southern Belle View I'm sharing my love story. Head over there to read my story-- and the love stories the other Belles are sharing!

Over at She Reads we're talking about our pick of the month-- Joy For Beginners by Erica Bauermeister. I'll include a bit about the book in case you'd like to add it to your reading list. This book is one I personally loved. Erica has earned a spot on my short list of favorite writers. I think you will love her too!


At an intimate, festive dinner party in Seattle, six women gather to celebrate their friend Kate's recovery from cancer. Wineglass in hand, Kate strikes a bargain with them. To celebrate her new lease on life, she'll do the one thing that's always terrified her: white-water rafting. But if she goes, all of them will also do something they always swore they'd never do-and Kate is going to choose their adventures.

Shimmering with warmth, wit, and insight, Joy for Beginners is a celebration of life: unexpected, lyrical, and deeply satisfying.
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Tuesday, February 07, 2012

Swapping Places


New feature I'm trying-- you'll see a bit about what I'm listening to and reading at the top of every post. Hope this just makes each post that much more personal! If it's possible I will include links.

On My iPod: High by The Blue Nile

Reading: The Journal Keeper by Phyllis Theroux

There's a song by Kate Bush from the 80's that I have on my ipod. The chorus is, "If I only could, I'd make a deal with God, and I'd get Him to swap places. I'd be running up that road, be running up that hill with no problems."

Ever felt that way? That if we could be in charge there'd be NO PROBLEMS. Every journey we took would be obstacle free. And I used to wonder if it was wrong of Kate Bush to put those lines in her song. To say it out loud, that thing I know I've thought... but didn't think others did. And certainly not something that someone should sing about. You know, so that other people could hear. Nevertheless, I liked the song, and it earned a permanent place on my ipod.

Then the other day I read this gripping line in Ann Voskamp's 1000 Gifts, a book I've vowed to read every year so that the ideals can slowly but surely seep into my skull. I think in 30 or so years (and 30 or so reads) it should be taking root. In the first chapter, Ann writes:

"If it were up to me..." and then the words pound, desperate and hard, "I'd write this story differently."

As I read this line, my brain recalled the chorus of that song. And a connection was made-- not that Kate felt it or I felt it or Ann felt it... but that we all have felt it. That desire to trade places with God and be the one to make decisions, to be in control. That sense that we would do it better is pervasive and enticing, and scary, as Ann goes on to say:

"I regret the words as soon as they leave me. They seem so un-Christian, so unaccepting-- so No, God! I wish I could take them back, comb out their tangled madness, dress them in their calm Sunday best. But they are, released and naked, raw and real, stripped of any theological cliche, my exposed, serrated howl to the throne room."

But the truth doesn't lie in our wild thoughts, our feelings and unreliable emotions. The truth lies in the humble response from her brother in law, who lost two sons:

"Just that maybe... maybe you don't want to change the story, because you don't know what a different ending holds." And Ann writes, "There's a reason I am not writing the story and God is. He knows how it all works out, where it all leads, what it all means. I don't."

The next time I think about swapping places, about getting to write the story, I will remember that profound truth over all-- that I don't know the end. And because of that, I shouldn't get to dicker with the middle. No matter how many times I'm tempted to sing along, to join in with the other voices.
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Monday, February 06, 2012

Menu Plans


Here's our menu plan for this week. And I'll share links to recipes as I can.

Grilled Barbecue Pork Chops, Broccoli Cheddar Rice, Corn

Tortilla Chicken Soup topped with cheese, tortilla strips, and sour cream (the link I provided isn't the recipe I use, but it's a good idea of how to make it, step by step)

Chipped Beef on toast, black eyed peas

Baked Chicken Fajitas

Homemade Pizza

Crock Pot Sloppy Joe Sandwiches, Tater Tots and Lima Beans

Pork Tenderloin and gravy, baked potatoes, green beans.
This one's easy-- put the pork tenderloin in the crock pot and sprinkle with pepper and garlic salt. Blend cream of mushroom soup, french onion soup, and golden mushroom soup with a whisk. Pour over and cook all day. Makes a delicious pork tenderloin with gravy to put over your potatoes-- or whatever starch you choose.
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Friday, February 03, 2012

Praying One Word


This year I'm praying one word for my children. I got this idea from reading The Circle Maker by Mark Batterson. I struggle with keeping up with long, complicated lists of things to pray for. Kind of like I said earlier this week that I like having one stack of papers in one place-- I like simple. If things get too convoluted I just don't do them-- even if I should, even if I want to. Praying is a good example. I admire you guys that have these fancy prayer journals with all kinds of lists and sub lists and post its and what all. Though I've started things of this nature, what I really do well with is just one thing.

Which is why the idea of selecting a word to pray for my kids for the year really really appealed to me. That I could do. And so, I thought about where each of my kids are and the needs I see in their lives, and picked a word. I also picked a word for my husband. Then I took an index card and wrote each person's name and the word and laid the card on my nightstand so I'd see it when I woke up and when I went to bed. That means that at least twice a day-- sometimes more-- I'm praying those words for these people I love. It's been the single most consistent prayer effort I've ever made. Why? Because it's simple. I can do simple.

I have decided not to share the words here, because they're private for the people they apply to and I want to protect that for my family. But if this idea appeals to you, I challenge you to start thinking about it-- and a word will come. Praying one word has been a great prayer exercise for me. I feel more committed than ever to praying for my family-- and I'm already seeing answers in response to my prayers-- which is the nicest part of all.
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Thursday, February 02, 2012

Schedule For A Typical Day


People often ask me what a typical day looks like for me. Which is kind of hard to answer because no day is typical-- but in a perfect world, I can tell you what a typical day should look like.

6:30 (am) Wake up. Make green tea and sip while having my quiet time.

7:00 Get kids up. Make lunches and make sure everyone stays on task, eats, and leaves the house with teeth brushed and shoes on.

7:30 Leave for school.

8:00 Arrive home. Eat breakfast. Do household chores-- laundry, dishes, tidy up, one big chore like cleaning a bathroom, mopping the floor, vaccuuming, etc. Start meal in crockpot if dinner plans require that.

9:00 Settle down and answer emails.

10:00 Write.

12:00 Lunch.

2:00 Get on the treadmill. Read a book while walking fast. Sweat.

2:45 Shower and dress

3:15 Get kids from school. Try to absorb shock of ALL THE NOISE that comes with them after quiet day at home.

4:00 Arrive home and supervise snacks and homework. Start dinner, watch children, make helpful suggestions about how to spend any free time. Talk to children about their day. Give directions about after school chores. (Usually I've made a list as things occur to me during the day.)

6:00 Dinner. Assign dinner cleanup chores. Listen to grumbling about child labor laws and the unfairness of it all. Tell them it will make them better wives/husbands and besides I cooked it so I don't have to clean it.

7:00 Baths and any unresolved homework issues.

8:00 Start the bedtime process.

9:00 Watch Cold Case or Law and Order or Castle if it's Monday night. Or read a book. Anything that doesn't require too many brain cells.

10:00 Fall asleep from sheer exhaustion.

As I said, hardly a single day goes by just like this-- but this is what I aim for. I think having something to aim for is good.
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Wednesday, February 01, 2012

My Other Blogs


Every Wednesday I'd love it if you'd venture over to my other blogging home, Southern Belle View. This group blog features some of my favorite women/writers and is a place where we discusss life... from a distinctly Southern perspective. We also do great giveaways! I'll be posting reminders here and I hope many of you will find us over there.

And don't forget about She Reads, where this month we've selected a novel (and writer) I am CRAZY about. Don't miss it... or her!
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Tuesday, January 31, 2012

A One Stack House


Today I wanted to share a quick organizing tip I hit on by accident: Have a one stack house.

What do I mean by that? Glad you asked!

A one stack house means that instead of having a stack of papers in the kitchen, the dining room, your bedroom, the office, and anywhere else that papers tend to collect, consolidate the various stacks into one stack. Literally go around and pick up the stacks-- and make just one.

Then designate a place for that one stack. For me it is my dresser. When the stack starts getting too high, that means it's time to weed it out. About once a week I go through my one stack and make piles of things to be filed, things to be dealt with immediately, and things to throw away. In doing this I stay (somewhat) organized.

I'm not sure why having just one stack makes it easier-- but it has for me. If everything is just in one place then it makes things feel more simple, more streamlined. Try it and see if it helps you!
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Monday, January 30, 2012

There's Time


This week I got an email that sent me into a tizzy about a deadline I thought I had. I ran around in a panic for a day, thinking to myself "There's just not time! There's just not time!"

The next day I got an email that reassured me. I'd misunderstood the expectation and discovered that there was, indeed, enough time to do what I needed to do. Panic wasn't necessary. And I'd wasted time on my tizzy. See the irony? I did.

As I processed all of this, I wondered why I never seem to trust that there will be enough time to get things done. Why I stress and worry and lament about my to-do list. As I processed things, this simple phrase echoed in my mind: There's time.

There's time to do the things we're supposed to do. Whether our calendar magically opens up to allow for extra time, or a friend takes our kids unexpectedly, or the deadline gets extended, or the work just simply goes faster than we thought it would, things get done. There's time. Yet I tend to live like there's no time, like I can't trust God to provide exactly the time I need-- Him who lives outside our time, who is unaffected by my crazed scrambling and hand wringing.

"Don't you trust Me by now?" He asks.

So today instead of saying "There's no time!" I'm going to listen to that quiet echo within reassuring me that, yes, there is. I can trust Him to provide my needs.

There's time.

There's money.

There's answers.

There's resources.

There's words.

I just have to ask, and trust, and wait in expectation.
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Friday, January 27, 2012

The One Where I Talk About Transparency


First, I read this verse

2 Corinthians 12:6b The Message (MSG)

"I don't want anyone imagining me as anything other than the fool you'd encounter if you saw me on the street or heard me talk."


On the same day, I read this quote from an interview with Debbie Macomber (from her new book One Perfect Word)

"Q. One Perfect Word examines your spiritual development and growth from a deeply personal perspective. In many cases you share excerpts from your journals. In the course of writing this book, how did you feel about sharing such intimate details with your readers?

A. I don't have a problem with sharing my humanness. I am flawed. I want my readers to understand that I am genuine and sincere and far from perfect. When I share my struggles, my weaknesses, with my readers, it helps them know my heart. If they know my heart, then they will recognize my faith and hopefully that will show them the path to God and His love."

I think that's the key-- being real, being transparent, talking about the ugliness that is our humanity sometimes. I'm trying to do more of that here on the blog. Showing who I really am, sharing the stuff that might be easiest to just hide away. Even going so far as to include my own personal journal excerpts here like Debbie did in her book. It feels raw and exposed and weird at times. But it also feels good-- to not hide behind these perfect posts, to not dress up my ugliness and put lipstick on the pig, so to speak. To just say, here's who I am and here's what I'm thinking or struggling with or wondering about-- and not always even arrive at a solution. To just say I'm feeling this, in case you're feeling it too.

Based on what Paul and Debbie had to say, none of us are alone. Maybe like me, that brings you a strange sort of comfort.
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Thursday, January 26, 2012

The One Where I Find An Old Verse Anew


What's your handicap? Let's face it, we all have one. Or more. Today I was lamenting in my journal about one particular handicap, and the words "My grace is sufficient" came to my mind. So I thought to myself, "Hey, I haven't read that verse in a really long time. Why don't I look it up?" So I did. And then of course I had to write the whole passage in my journal because it was so so so fitting for what I was journaling about.

I love it when that happens. When a verse that's so familiar that you don't even really pay attention to it anymore becomes new and exciting again, speaking to you in a fresh and insightful way as only the Bible can.

Here's the thing. I love the Bible. I love Jesus. I love God. I love that I have the Holy Spirit in me, directing me, speaking to me. I've struggled recently with God's people and some of the things I see around me. But at the end of the day I absolutely don't change on those absolutes in my life. The Word is still my lifeline, my support. Everything may change around me. People may betray me, disappoint me, shock me. I might want to get far far away from their brand of religion. I might feel the sting of rejection, the shame of not measuring up, the pain of just not fitting in. But I always have His comfort as close as that old red leather Bible-- His certainty, His promises-- a personal message that speaks to my heart, cutting through all the junk that vies to crowd it out.

Today the words below were a comfort to me. I needed to be reminded that the very thing I try to rid myself of can be seen as a gift with just a shift in perspective. I needed to remember that God is always, always, always keeping me humble... and dependent. I needed to take those words "My grace is enough, it's all you need" with me throughout the coming day-- replacing the words my flesh wants to say with that truth as many times as it takes.

Read on, and maybe you'll find comfort too.

2 Corinthians 12:7-10
The Message (MSG)

7-10Because of the extravagance of those revelations, and so I wouldn't get a big head, I was given the gift of a handicap to keep me in constant touch with my limitations. Satan's angel did his best to get me down; what he in fact did was push me to my knees. No danger then of walking around high and mighty! At first I didn't think of it as a gift, and begged God to remove it. Three times I did that, and then he told me,

My grace is enough; it's all you need.
My strength comes into its own in your weakness.

Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ's strength moving in on my weakness. Now I take limitations in stride, and with good cheer, these limitations that cut me down to size—abuse, accidents, opposition, bad breaks. I just let Christ take over! And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become.
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Tuesday, January 24, 2012

The One Where I Share An Old Fave


This was one of my favorite books when I was little. I would spend hours staring at the pictures, making up stories to go with them. In retrospect, this was a sign of things to come-- but of course I didn't know it at the time. Back then it was just fun. With words.

The other day I got out my old copy for my six year old, who also likes to have fun with words. This afternoon I'm going to show her how I used to make up stories in my head to go with the pictures on each page. I've given her a fabric covered blank book and she takes her writing very seriously. Last night we were going to dinner and she wanted to bring her blank book with her in case she had time while we were waiting for our food. I totally get it. It's always nice to take advantage of unexpected time to write.

Thinking about this book, I wonder how many of us had indicators in early childhood of who we would someday be-- this nurse, this teacher, this decorator, this fashionista. This writer. Taking it a step further, I wonder if we pay attention to those indicators in our children's lives of who this child might someday be. I wonder if we sow into it-- providing them with more of what they love, more of what feeds their soul. It's a serious job-- this launching of people. It takes a lot of paying attention, a lot of listening. I started having fun with words as a little girl. I'm so glad the people in my life made sure I was always surrounded by them.
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Monday, January 23, 2012

The One Where I Recap My Weekend


Friday was my 4th child (and second daughter's) birthday. She turned 12. In the car on the way to school that morning I said, "This is your last year before you're officially a teenager."

To which she replied, "Then I wish I could skip it so I could be a teenager now!"

Umm, I think she missed the point. But isn't that how we always are? Wanting to skip over things to get to the next phase instead of savoring where we are, what we have? I'm trying not to be that way-- to stop saying to myself "When I get X done and get to Y, then I'll be happier."

On Friday Curt had to be out of town which was a bummer that he wasn't there for her birthday but I tried to salvage the day by hiring a sitter and going out just the two of us. We had a nice dinner at Panera (at 12 that's fine dining) and then shopped for shoes and a dress for her semi-formal Valentine's dance that's coming up at her school. Can I just say I love Ross? We found a dress AND shoes there for cheap. And she looks adorable. Because it was so inexpensive she also talked me into a package of fuzzy socks and a pair of real Converse low-top tennis shoes (not the Target knock-offs she had before). She was thrilled and that's what birthdays are all about.

Saturday I got brave and took my youngest three out in the rain to get haircuts and run errands. We stopped and had lunch at Burger King. I have to say I haven't been inside a Burger King in years. It hasn't changed. We all had kids meals and I tried to tell myself that it was okay to indulge in the awfulness that is fast food if I only had a kids meal. If I'm wrong, please don't comment and tell me different.

My youngest got her long hair cut into a chin length bob. Now she walks around saying all the time "I love my hair! I look so cute!" Ah, to preserve that self-confidence, that self-esteem. I hate that that's ever going to change. But she has two older sisters so I know it will. Life and lies will conspire to erode that self-confidence and self-esteem. And I'll be there fighting tooth and nail to hold back the tides.

Saturday night Curt got home and we took the birthday girl out for her official birthday dinner. This year we changed up our birthday tradition. I used to make a nice meal of that child's choice for the whole family. But this year I hit upon the fact that it would cost about the same for the two of us to take just that child out to the restaurant of their choice (within reason) and spend some one on one time with that child. So this year we've been doing that and they've all really liked it.

She chose Carrabbas and drank her weight in Shirley Temples. She also tied the stem of the cherry into a knot with her tongue, which is a rite of passage in our family. Afterwards we stopped at Sweet Frog, a local frozen yogurt place, because that's what she asked for and this was her night. Curt and I weren't going to have anything until we walked in and saw that THEY HAD THIN MINT FROZEN YOGURT. We were goners. It was good stuff. When we got home she got her presents-- a curling iron (of her own-- very important in a house with multiple females), a Cake Pop baking set, and a new pair of pajamas. She spent the rest of the night curling her hair and experimenting with looks for her upcoming dance. It hit me that she's officially not a little girl any more. Sniff.

Sunday we didn't go to church because Curt was sick (he forced himself to go out for her dinner since he missed her actual day) and no one wanted to sit beside him in church with his hacking, coughing self. I could've taken the kids to church alone but after being alone with them during the week I just didn't have it in me. He barricaded himself upstairs in our bonus roomwhere his hacking could be heard throughout the house in spite of the closed door. I read, wrote, organized my recipes and piddled. A nice day all in all. Sometimes it's nice to just spend a Sunday that way. I will admit publicly here that I still made a to-do list. On a Sunday. I realize I have issues and I'm working on them.

Today the kids have off from school and the birthday girl has her party with friends. (A word on friend parties-- we only do them every other year. A wise friend gave me that suggestion years ago and I am SO GLAD I started it. I think I would stress right out the door if I had to throw six birthday parties every single year, especially considering that four of our six are in July/August/September.) Anyway, this is her year to have a party. We won a limo package in a raffle at her school so we are using that. The limo is picking her and 9 of her friends up at our house and taking them to a local restaurant for a nice dinner, cake, ice cream and presents. Then the limo will drive them all home. Should be fun. She's excited about it... and that's what counts. And mom? She's excited for all the birthday hoopla to be behind us. See? There I go, doing it again.

If I get my ducks in a row I will post some photos from the party this week. Hope you have a great Monday and a wonderful week!
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Sunday, January 22, 2012

Sunday Supper


Baked Chicken and Rice (doesn't that just sound like a Sunday supper? Comfort food at its best.)

3/4 cup of rice
1 pkg Lipton Onion Soup mix
1 can cream of chicken soup
2 pounds boneless, skinless chicken breasts
2 cups water

Preheat oven to 350. Put rice in ungreased 9X13 baking dish. Place chicken breasts on top of rice. Mix soup and water and pour over top of chicken. Sprinkle with onion soup mix. Cover with foil and bake for 1 hour, or until chicken is done.

I serve this with baby peas.
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Thursday, January 19, 2012

The One Where I Ease Up On Myself... Or Try To


Recently I read this interview on a writing blog and the author's answer grabbed me. Read it below and then I'll tell you why:

What time of day do you love best?

I’m a morning person. Not one of those productive morning people who write pages and pages before dawn, or who are out running before it’s fully light. But I love getting up early and taking my dog to the park across the street, just wandering around before the rest of the world gets busy. It’s probably the only time of day where my mind has a chance to remain quiet, and there’s no better way to wake up.

(Quoted from this interview.)



When I read the question "What time of day do you love best?" I thought I knew the way she was going to answer-- the kind of answer she was going to give. I thought that, because she is a published writer she would give the answer I was used to getting-- one that exuded her own capability and key to productivity. No matter whether she was a morning or night person-- or somewhere in the middle-- she would talk about how productive she was at those times. So I read her answer with expectation of the same old response. Perhaps I would learn something to apply in my own life!



But as you read, that wasn't what she said. While she is a morning person, she didn't wax eloquent about how she gets so much done in her best time of day. She didn't talk about her coffee routine, her proclivity towards writing a certain amount by a certain time, her schedule for answering emails or tackling social media. Instead she talked about wandering around in the park with her dog, waking up slowly and letting her creativity awaken as well.



I didn't know that was allowed.



And then I asked myself a question: Why do I need permission to wander? Why are my expectations of myself so high that I set schedules and goals and live by to-do lists and calendars, checkmarks and bullet points and long lines of black ink crossing off words? Why isn't it okay to use my best time of day to do... nothing?



I'm not sure I have any answers just yet. It's more something I'm thinking about. Sometimes I have to remember to be kind to myself. Sometimes I just need permission to wander. It's occurred to me that no one is going to come along and give it to me except me. And God, who is rich in mercy and is not up there keeping a stopwatch, shutting it off in disgust when I don't "make time." Whatever that is. I think that He rather likes this thought pattern of mine-- this idea that it's okay to wander, to wake up slowly, to take time to savor, to use my best time of day to do nothing more than to walk around and marvel at life itself, giving myself time to feel His love and soak it right up. I think He eased up on me a long time ago. He's just been waiting on me to ease up on myself. He wrote me a permission slip to wander with no date scrawled across the top. It's redeemable whenever I choose. I think I'm going to choose now.

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Wednesday, January 18, 2012

The One Where I Give You Recipes To Make Desserts You Shouldn't Eat


I love to make desserts for my family-- and they love it when I do. Yes, it is a test of my willpower. But then I remember those nights when we would finish dinner and my mom would reveal that there was dessert. No more magical words have ever been spoken. "I love you" are three powerful words to a child, but "there is dessert" are a close, close second.

So I try to make dessert at least once a week. And I thought you all might want to see the ones I've flagged as "to be tried." Soon.

Butterfinger Blondies (These not only involve Butterfingers, they also involve an amazing substance called "Butterfinger Buttercream." Oh, the deliciousness!)

Mint Chocolate Chip Cookies

Sugar Cookie Bars (These are wonderful because they include the icing that goes on top of a sugar cookie, yet don't involve the standing and cutting out cookies process that makes one crazy.)
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Tuesday, January 17, 2012

The One Where I Give You A Week's Worth Of Meal Links


I am a big believer in making a menu plan, making a grocery list, getting all the shopping done, and then just knowing what your meals are going to be for the week. The whole "think once and write it down" thing really works in this case. I think once and then I don't have to think about what's for dinner again for the rest of the week! Voila! (Does anyone else get a kick out of when people put "Viola" instead of "Voila"? Anyone? Ok, it's just me...)

Back to the meals. I've been looking at making these meals this week so I thought I'd share them with you, in case you wanted to print them out, or write them down if you're a printer ink cheapskate like me, or just bookmark them on your fancy pants ipad or whatever way would serve you best. The point is to scan through the list of ingredients, write down what you need, then go to the grocery store and buy whatever it is. Once all the groceries are in the house and the meals are all listed, all you have left to do is cook it. (And these recipes are easy so the "just cook it" part should not cause your heart to palpitate.) Your work is nearly done! It really is a good feeling. That organized-perfect-for-just-a-moment-this-house-really-is-my-domain feeling.

Savor it. Because it lasts all of 2.5 seconds.

Ok, so here's the links to five meals. That's a whole week of hot and hearty meals that your family can gather around the table and eat together, just like in the commercials on tv.

Pizza Casserole

Slow Cooker Cilantro Lime Chicken

Olive Garden Pasta Fagioli Soup (Scroll down to get to the soup recipe. This post also features their salad and breadstick recipes if you are feeling especially ambitious. I almost never am.)

Crock Pot Chicken And Dumplings (Already made this. The reviews were mixed. The ones who loved it, LOVED it. The ones who didn't... aren't fans of dumplings.)

Baked Fried Chicken Breasts (Already made this. My family raved. Raved, I tell you.)


Are you inspired to make a menu plan? I hope so! Let me know how it turns out!
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Monday, January 16, 2012

The One Where I Reveal How I Keep Up With Blogs I Love


I subscribe to them.

I realize this is not rocket science. However, this has been kind of a big deal for me. Long about December (anyone else hearing the Counting Crows song in their head right now? I love that Courteney Cox is in that video. But I digress...)

Will try this again. Long about December, I started thinking about all the blog posts I miss by my fave writers because I don't remember to go check their blogs. And I felt like there had to be a way to fix that. Because mostly in life there is a way to fix something that's bothering you, if you look for it.

And that's when I started subscribing to blogs I love via the feature that sends the post right to your email. And I realize you all have lots of ways that you follow blogs and this is probably old info for most of you. Know this: I am usually hopelessly behind the times. So getting blog posts sent to email probably sounds antiquated to you Google Reader Feeblitz uber cool app techie types. But for me, it was the perfect way to get the latest from the people I want to hear the latest from. And so I went through the novelists I love, the book bloggers I love, the lifestyle bloggers I love, etc. and I signed up for their blogs to come to my emails. And yes I now get more emails than I used to. But there's always the delete button if that particular post doesn't grab me.

And so in this new year I'm feeling just a little more informed, just a little more up to speed with the things I care about. It's not politics. It's not celebs. It's not fashion. (Sorry Shari Braendel). It's not current events. Though it might be for you. For me it's the craft of writing, the pursuit of the perfect meal, the heartbeat of what it means to find faith in the midst of the craziness. These things cast light on the path I am on.

I'm glad I'm not missing these folks' words of wisdom anymore. It's made my life just a little bit richer. And who can't use that?
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Friday, January 13, 2012

The One Where I Give Away A Copy Of Small Space Organizing


I think that no matter how big your house is, your ears probably perked up when you saw the title of the book: Small Space Organizing. It reminds me of the old George Carlin routine about our stuff taking up so much space that we need more space for our stuff.

So, if you have small space issues and you want to be more organized. (New Year's Resolutions, any one?) This book is worth checking out. Here's a video you can watch!

And the good news is, I am giving one away! Just leave a comment here and tell me what small space you'd like to organize for a chance to win.

COMMENTS FOR THIS POST ARE NOW CLOSED. THE WINNER IS ANDRESA. ANDRESA, PLEASE EMAIL ME WITH YOUR ADDRESS SO I CAN GET THE BOOK SENT OUT TO YOU!! CONGRATS!!
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Thursday, January 12, 2012

The One Where I Quote Therese Walsh


I’m going to sound like a NIKE commercial: Just do it. Write. Because really, what is the option? To stop? If you stop, you’ll feel depressed; it’s what writers do best. If you continue to write, you may still feel uninspired and even depressed, but because you’re working there’s at least a hope for that light at the end of the proverbial tunnel. For writers, hope is everything, isn’t it? We hope we can finish the book. We hope that what we have to say is worth saying, worth hearing. And we hope—hope, hope, hope—to find an audience that appreciates the work. Not writing risks all that hope. I sometimes have to remind myself of that.

(This is from an interview with Therese Walsh, creator of the site Writer Unboxed, and author of The Last Will of Moira Leahy. To see the interview in its entirety, visit Womens Fiction Writers.)
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Wednesday, January 11, 2012

The One Where I Quote Tamar Cohen


This quote was from this post:


Don't worry about who could possibly be interested in what you have to say. People read looking for some insight on what it is to be human. You’re human, therefore you have as much right to write it as anyone else.
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Tuesday, January 10, 2012

The One Where I Say More About The Blog's New Direction


This quote further talks about what I think I need to do with my blog from here on out:




…here’s the secret I wish someone had told me back when I would get apologetic
for being a “web diarist” or an “online journaller” or a “crazy person who
writes about herself on the internet”: when you’re really liking what you’re
writing, and you’re having fun doing it? That’s probably because you’ve found
your voice. You’ve found your connection with the words and the stories. There’s
an audience out there hungry for someone who knows how to use her voice. Don’t
stifle it because you think you’re supposed to be… what?

(quote came from this post)

I want to like what I'm writing. I want to have fun with it. I want my voice to come through again-- not some voice that sounds like I think I'm supposed to sound because it's what I somehow became convinced I was supposed to sound like. I don't want my blog to be safe, and I am afeared that that's what it's been for quite some time now. Safe. Don't rock the boat. Don't offend anyone. Don't say what I'm really thinking because someone might not buy my books any more. Just write my little banal, milquetoast posts within these banal milquetoast parameters that will contribute continuous content (ah, alliteration I do love you so) without ruffling feathers.

So this is me, stopping all that. I might post three times in one day if three amazing things pop into my brain and I've got that kind of time. And I might go silent for a bit if nothing remarkable presents itself. Or I get real busy. Cause that happens more than I like.

And yes, I do plan to continue these Friends-style titles. Because I like 'em. They make me smile. And I hope they will make you smile and not eventually bore you to tears. Because once I thought that my clever little categories for each day was GENIUS. So clearly, things change.

Oh, and I will make you one more promise. I will try to make each post short. Brief quotes. Links to good stuff. Things like that. I will refrain from pontificating unless it's just absolutely necessary. Because none of us have that kind of time or inclination. We have shorter attention spans now, haven't you heard? But know this, if I post it, it's because it matters to me. And I hope it matters to you.
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Monday, January 09, 2012

The One Where I Admit That I Dislike My Blog


I was seriously about to break up with my blog. Put up a last post and say "It's been real. See ya on the flip side."

You see, me and the blog took a break from each other over Christmas and it turned out that I liked the break. I liked it a little too much. I liked not thinking about whether the blog was getting comments I needed to respond to. Or whether the blog needed updating. Or whether the blog had a broken link. Or whether I'd written this post for this certain day and-- oh my-- would the world stop turning if my Thursday Thought wasn't there by 6am?? Or whether the blog was in some other state of need that ate up my time and left me grumpy and unfulfilled.

But I'd promised the blog that I would come back after the break. And because I always try to keep my word, I came back. And you all read the posts I dutifully put up last week when I came back. You even read my clever idea about going through a book that was very New-Yearsy in subject matter. You might've even bought said book and eagerly anticipated going through it here each week.

Somehow along the way my blog went from passion to production. I wasn't getting on here because I couldn't wait to share something with you (the way I started). I was getting on here because I said I would. And because I'm a writer and we writers are expected to develop "an audience." But somehow, in trying to develop my audience like a good little writer, I started boring myself-- and probably you guys-- to tears.

But not any more. I hereby declare there will be no more themed days. There will be no more perfunctory posts. (I do love me some alliteration.) There will be no more me writing what I think you want to hear or what I think someone "out there" expects me to say. Instead I'm taking back my blog and making it my own-- less expectation and more passion.

So, my apologies but I won't be discussing that book here after all. I changed my mind because I'm a woman and that's what we do. (Although I do love that book so, truly, you should read it and be inspired.) I just don't love the idea of robotically showing up week after week to discuss it, making something I love become something I'm working on. Again with the boredom.

Instead I will be talking about my life and my friends and what I think about food and writing and reading great books and how my faith impacts all the different little tributaries of my life. And I'll be talking about marriage and kids and family and how most of the time I feel like a great big failure at all of it. But I try. I get up every day and I try. Mostly I just bake them stuff because that seems to make them happy. So I'll share the recipes and you can try the same tactic.

I'll be talking about all of that. And probably more. But I can't promise it'll be Monday through Friday. And I can't promise you'll always like what I have to say, or the way I say it. But instead of this manufactured, mass-produced product, what I share here will be one-of-a-kind: handmade, with love.

Those are the things I like best anyway. I hope you do, too.
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Friday, January 06, 2012

Fiction Friday: Theme


This post is from a newsletter article by Holly Lisle, who made me think about theme in a different way by challenging me to make it personal-- what themes have I dealt with in my own life that can be reflected in my fiction? Read on...

It goes without saying that every story is about something, doesn't
it?

Well, you'd think so, but in fact, NOTHING goes without saying.
All information is new to someone once, and if you haven't heard
this before (and maybe even if you have but you sort of forgot why
it mattered), let me say this now:

In order to matter to your reader, your story has to be ABOUT
something that matters to your reader...

...Want your readers to love your characters and your stories and come
back for more, not because you said a whole lot of nothing in a
very pretty fashion, but because you hooked them and showed them
someone they loved in a situation that mattered doing things they
cared about?...

...You must tell a story that shows people and
life not as the are, but as they could be, and as they should be.

To do that, first YOU have to care.

And for you to care, you have to be telling a story about something
that matters to you.

What matters to you?

That justice can overcome corruption?

That love is the most powerful force in the world?

That best friends can survive any hardship together?

That fear is what turns men into animals?

Sit down right now, give a good hard look at your own life, and
establish a few themes that sum you up. That make sense of the
life you have lived to this point.

Consider whether those themes are what you want to hold up as
examples, or whether they're what you want to show a hero
overcoming.

With a theme as your anchor, you can then plot a story that will
matter to you when you write it...and that will matter to your reader
when he reads it.
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Thursday, January 05, 2012

Thursday Thought: Unsent Letters


When you get mad what do you do? Call your mom and vent to her? Wait til your husband gets home and tell him all about it? Tell your best friend? Hash it out internally, practicing all your best put-downs as you imagine the conversation you would have with the offending party?
One thing I've recently hit on is writing the person an email you never intend to send. Open up your compose screen and start writing. Say it all. Get it out. Tell them just what you think, how you feel, and your version of what happened. Vent.

But for goodness sake, do not put their name in the recipient's box. Don't want that puppy getting accidentally sent out, do you? Of course not. The letter, you see, isn't really meant for them. It's meant for you. Your feelings are valid. Your emotions need to work their way out. Repressing and ignoring them isn't going to help. This gives you a safe place to work through it all. You can be as ugly as you need to be, this isn't the time for censoring yourself. You can even cuss if you want to.
After you've written your letter, hit "save draft" and let it stew in your inbox for a few days. Then go back and read it, and be glad that you didn't send that email. Because in a few days you've calmed down. You've had a chance to maybe see the other side of things. You've processed it and a cooler head has prevailed. Most likely you'll just delete the dumb thing, shaking your head at what a difference a day or two can make.

We all get angry, we all get wronged, we all struggle to put things in perspective at times. And when we do it's nice to have something to do with all those feelings. Next time you're struggling with something, try the unsent letter option. You might find it gives you a place to work out all that hurt, without hurting anyone else.

The holidays are notoriously a time for hurt feelings. The increased exposure to family, the party invites and spending stress, the busy schedules can all bring things to the surface. If you've got a bone to pick with someone, try this method. It just might help you not say something you ordinarily would. It might just save a relationship and your reputation.

Say it. Just don't say it directly to them.
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Wednesday, January 04, 2012

Psalms For Moms





Psalm 25:9, "He gives the rejects His hand, and leads them step by step." (MSG)



Over Christmas several of my friends and I joked that we belonged on the Island of Misfit Toys. Ever feel like a misfit? I do. All the time. I don't fit with the uber-Christians and I don't fit with the heathens. I don't fit with the fashionistas and I don't fit with the slobs. I don't fit with the secular writers and I don't fit with the Christian writers. Whenever I take one of those personality tests, I never fit in one particular category. I took one online and discovered I scored in a category that is 1% of the population. The test said it's the most rare personality type. Consequently, I've never been able to proudly proclaim "I'm a Golden Retriever! I'm an Otter! I'm a Phlegmatic! I'm a Choleric!" Instead I've spent a lot of time trying to figure myself out. The lines, they do keep blurring.

And yet, I'm okay with that. I've embraced my one-size-does-not-fit-all life. I like my uniqueness. Sure it would be simpler to pick out a label and proudly wear it affixed to my chest so that everyone knows what they're dealing with. But that's not going to happen. So that's why I picked out today's verse. It spoke to me, as a misfit. The fact that God made me just as I am. That He takes delight in my misfit ways. Even more, He gives me His hand and leads me step-by-step.

Perhaps you needed to remember that He's there for you today. You might feel rejected-- like you don't fit. But you fit: your small hand in His large, capable one, picking your way out along the jagged, rocky path of life. Maybe you've got a child who needs to hear this verse today-- a reminder that when we feel like rejects, He is there with His hand outstretched. There is a place for misfits, and that place is by His side, sticking close, letting Him show us the way.
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Tuesday, January 03, 2012

Two For Tuesday (A Fail and a Win)


This year I did one thing right when it came to my reading habit. I started keeping a reading log for the first time ever. This log turned out to be quite informative and fun-- I'd recommend it to anyone who reads a lot and desires to remember all that you've read. Through writing down the books I read I was able to 1) see how many books I read per month on average (5) and 2) remember what I read, and what I thought of each book. In years' past I couldn't tell you any of that info-- it was all a blur. As I flipped back through my log, I was like "Oh, I forgot I read that!" And I was able to see what I thought of the books, as I wrote my own personal review for each book after I read it. I don't intend to publish any of that info here-- it was just something I did for myself, for my own recordkeeping.

So that was my win.

What was my fail?

At the end of 2010 I made a TBR list (To Be Read) for 2011, which I will admit was a bit grandiose. I was dreaming big, clearly. One of the goals I most looked forward to was reading all of Anne Tyler's works over the course of 2011, starting with Dinner At The Homesick Restaurant.

I am confessing here, publicly, that I read NONE of Anne Tyler's novels. Not one. Nada.

Am I including her stuff on my TBR list for 2012? No. Not because I don't still want to read them, but because I want to leave room on my TBR list this year for those serendipitous books out there that I don't know I want to read yet. I want my list to have room to grow. Right now that list is at a doable 25 books (I read around 60 last year.) That gives me much room to grow and change-- because that's what a new year is all about, setting goals, while leaving room for an uncertain future full of growth and change, and the grace to do both.

Speaking of reading, remember you're invited to join me in going through Write It Down, Make It Happen... We'll discuss the first chapter on Thursday, January 12th.
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Monday, January 02, 2012

And... We're Back


Hope your holidays were happy! We were busy and crazed and sick and cooped up and... so, so happy. I loved the break that we were all able to have. And yet, there is something equally nice about getting back to routine and a sense of normality. (I say a sense because really there is no normal.)

I briefly announced over Christmas that I'm going to be going through the book Write It Down, Make It Happen as we begin the new year, and I invite you to join me. This book is about something I very much believe-- that setting goals in many areas of your life, and writing them down, is paramount to accomplishing them. I have seen this over and over in my life.


So get yourself a copy and join me in going through it. I will be posting about the book on Thursdays, going through a chapter a week. A perfect thing to do in this new year! This coming Thursday I will just write an introduction to what we're doing and then we'll start with the introduction (because I believe in reading introductions) on January 12th, hopefully giving those of you who want to order it (or download it on your new e-reader!) time to get it and read that first chapter.

I hope that you'll decide to go through the book with me and we will write down our goals-- and see them happen-- together!
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Sunday, January 01, 2012

Banana Bars




Ever have rapidly darkening bananas and not know what to do with them other than make yet another loaf of banana bread? Well, here's another, tasty, solution. My family loved these! One of my sons even said he wants these for his next birthday instead of cake!

Banana Bars

2 cups all purpose flour

2 tsp baking powder

1/2 tsp salt

3/4 cup (1.5 sticks) butter or margarine, softened

2/3 cup granulated sugar

2/3 cup packed brown sugar

1 tsp vanilla extract

1 cup mashed ripe banana (2 bananas)

1 egg

2 cups chocolate chips


Combine flour, baking powder and salt in medium bowl. Beat butter, granulated sugar, brown sugar and vanilla in large mixer bowl until creamy. Beat in bananas and eggs. Gradually beat in flour mixture. Stir in chocolate chips. Spread into greased 15X10 inch jelly roll pan.


Bake in preheated 350 degree oven for 20-30 minutes or until cake tester comes out clean. Cool completely before cutting into bars. Makes 6 dozen.
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