Fiction Friday: Learning From The Soaps

The other day I had the clearest memory of sitting at my grandmother's large island on a bar stool, eating lunch with her and watching "The Young and The Restless." I can't recount to you how many times this took place-- I just know that through the years it happened numerous times.

Then I had another memory. We were watching one of the soaps and had planned to go out for lunch. But something big was going to happen that day. We were in a quandary. My grandmother had nothing for lunch. We were hungry. But we couldn't miss the exciting thing that was going to happen either.

Then my grandmother hit upon an idea. She had a portable tv we could take with us! We grabbed the tv, drove down the street to a little deli, set up the tv on our table and munched on our lunches while watching happily. It's one of my best memories of my grandmother.

As I thought of these memories I realized that-- make fun of them or not-- what my grandmother and I felt that day is a fine example of engaging the audience. When people talk about not being able to put a book down, it's the same thing as not being able to go eat lunch for fear you'll miss out on the "big thing" that's about to happen. Promise your audience a "big thing" is coming and you'll keep them glued. I learned that from soap operas. A good novel is just a succession of big things happening... each building upon the next.

I also learned other things, I realized, as I processed those afternoons watching soaps with my grandmother:

If you are creating an ensemble cast-- presenting multiple points of view-- they need a point of connection. I remember thinking as I watched the soaps that it was highly unlikely that people would spend as much time at the hospital or the police station or the local boardinghouse as we are made to believe they do. I for one have only visited a hospital when I had to and have never elected to hang out at the police station. And yet, there simply has to be a connection point for these characters to interact or there'd be no story. In a novel it might be one character's house that has the gift of hospitality. Or a restaurant they all frequent. Or a school they teach at and their kids go to. It becomes the hub in the center of the wheel, linking all these characters' plotlines at one juncture.

It's good to get your reader invested in the characters. My grandmother honestly felt a kinship with these people. It was like she didn't realize they weren't real. She really got invested in whether so and so were going to stay together or so and so was going to find out so and so's secret. We want to create characters our readers will be that invested in-- characters who are so real that the audience forgets they're not. One of the best compliments I can get is when someone reads my book and tells me later they found themselves wondering how the characters are doing... then feeling kind of silly when they realize with a giggle that of course these people aren't real. That tells me I've done my job. I want you thinking about them even when you're away from the book.

And finally soap operas teach you how to get the audience to suspend their disbelief. Just like me thinking that no one really spends that much time in a hospital or police station, I willingly suspended my disbelief in the name of being carried along with the story. I wanted to believe there was a place where people lived life that way, where you could run into your neighbor or your mom or your evil twin or the sister you only thought was dead in the halls of the hospital. I wanted to believe that people really could break up and get back together 27 times even after having 4 different babies by 4 different people. I wanted to believe because I craved more of the story. A novelist has to write a story so compelling that your reader will also dive deep with you, submerging themselves in the flow of your story just because they want the rush of the wild rapids you've created.

Soap operas taught me a lot about writing. I make fun of them but the truth is, I learned some good lessons. My grandmother is dead now and sometimes I find myself with a longing so sharp to travel back in time and sit with her just once more, watching her "stories," and learning how to fashion a story from bits of dialogue, scraps of settings, and the multi-colored threads of drama and intrigue. Maybe one day I'll write a novel about a girl who gets to do just that.

Thursday Thought: Making A Home

She's crouched over this elaborate construction of her own design. Household odds and ends have been collected and organized in odd groupings. None of it makes much sense as I observe from where I am looking down from the treadmill as she plays beside me. I walk endlessly nowhere, huffing and puffing as I accelerate, accelerate, accelerate. She pauses, lingers, tinkers some more. We are a metaphor for our individual lives: me on fast forward, her on pause. I look down and wonder what I am racing for. She looks up at me and smiles.

"Do you like my house mommy?" she asks. "I made it." Her smile is proud. It is a house she has been making. From my perch just above her she gives me the bird's eye tour. This is the kitchen and this is the bedroom and way over here? This is the living room. "See mommy?" she asks. "Do you like my house?"

I assure her she has done a beautiful job, because she has. I love the creativity, the thought, the imagination that has gone into creating this house. I even love the borrowed GI Joe from her brother serving as the daddy of the family. Because, she says matter-of-factly, every house needs a daddy. And I think of the talking heads endlessly arguing over whether daddies are necessary. And I think maybe they should just ask a five year old. She'll answer their questions without spending thousands of dollars on research to prove what her simple heart is telling her. And then I think of my friend who lost the daddy in her house and how sad it is that some homes simply don't have one for whatever the reason.

We don't change much from five to forty, it occurs to me. Deep down I am still trying to make a home out of odds and ends, cobbling together a structure that meets my needs-- being creative at times when I can't do it the obvious way, taking what I have and hoping it will work.

I could've bought my daughter a "Dream Home" and it would've all been done for her. She wouldn't have had to make it herself. And yet, I think that would've cheated her out of the pride and perseverance that came with making this one instead. This one is all hers, it bears the mark of who she is and what she needs, specifically. I am making a home just like she is. From time to time I look up, smile and ask, do You like it?

And my Daddy looks down and answers, "Yes. You're doing a beautiful job." I let His words soak in as I turn back to what I was doing, ever intent on making the most out of what I have, grateful that somehow, it is always enough.

Psalms For Moms

Someone who is reading this needs to make this her prayer all day long today. I don't know who you are, but I know this is for you.

Psalm 38:22 (New Century Version)

Quickly come and help me, my Lord and Savior.

If it doesn't apply to you right now-- ask God to show you who in your life needs you to pray that on her behalf. Then pray this verse for her whenever you think of it.

Tuesday Top Ten

10 Things You Can Do With Coil Bound Index Cards

1. Make a list of gifts from God. This is inspired by Ann Voskamp's book 1000 Gifts. She has promised to drop by at some point and visit with us here and I can't wait for it. If you don't have the book yet, really, don't wait to get it. In reading it myself, I wanted to start a gift list but I didn't want to do it in my current journal and I didn't want to start a separate journal. Then I had the idea to get a set of coil-bound index cards to jot down my list of 1000 gifts. I have loved the size and portability of this and I know it was an idea straight from God because I have never used these before! However now that I have discovered them, I have a whole bunch of ideas for how to use them...

2. Record and save the verses you've memorized. Having them all in one place makes it easier to flip back through and review them so you don't forget them.

3. Record and save favorite verses. You may not have them memorized-- they may just be verses that have stood out to you at different times, for different reasons.

4. Record and save quotes you love-- little lines that encourage and inspire you, something you can flip through for a dose of inspiration when you need it. This could be quotes about your Christian walk, your motherhood, your marriage, your writing... whatever strikes your fancy!

5. Jot down writing ideas as they occur to you, then you have them all in one place and won't lose them.

6. Jot down recipes in them and keep the cards in your kitchen for quick reference.

7. Let it serve as a handy, not so serious journal-- a place where you can jot down quick observations without writing a ton. If journaling overwhelms you, perhaps this bite-sized version will be less cumbersome to get you started. Again, it's also small and portable so you can throw it in a bag or purse easily.

8. Jot down the funny things your kids say that you always mean to remember.

9. Make a chore chart and put a different household task on each card. Flip through and assign chores to your kids-- and yourself-- using the cards.

10. Jot down ideas for whatever your hobby or passion is. This could be speaking topics, blog post ideas, scenes for a novel, names for characters, stories you remember that would make good illustrations, images you want to preserve for painting or drawing or photography, scrapbooking pages you want to create, etc.

I bought my index cards at Walgreens for $2.50. Mine are colorful and the coil is plastic and not wire, which I love. Pick yourself up some this week and then see what you can do with them. The sky's the limit!

Have some other suggestions I missed? Please feel free to add to the list!

In A Food Mood: Valentine's Day Desserts

I've written before about how we always celebrate Valentine's Day at home with a "red meal." Which means, I make spaghetti and serve red soda. And then, for dessert I always make something chocolate. It's simple, but it's a tradition and honestly, I think the simpler traditions are the best ones-- the ones that we can stick to because we've not overwhelmed ourselves.

And so, this week I am sharing two easy and good chocolate desserts you might want to make for your family for Valentine's Day. Next Monday I will be sharing a pasta meal (red sauce!) you could make. I will post it on Sunday night just in case you more adventuresome types want to get to the store Monday morning and have it made in time for your family on Monday night! Your kids will love being included in the V-Day festivities. Last year we invited another couple over too. Make it fun!

Hot Fudge Pudding Cake

(This first one tastes and works like those little individual molten chocolate cups that seem to be on the front of magazines this month. But it makes a big serving so your family can enjoy!)

1 1/4 cups sugar, divided
1 cup flour
7 Tbsp Hershey's Baking Cocoa, divided
2 tsp baking powder
1/4 tsp salt
1/2 cup milk
1/3 cup butter or margarine, melted
1 1/2 tsp vanilla extract
1/2 cup packed light brown sugar
1 1/4 cups hot water

Heat oven to 350. In medium bowl, combine 3/4 cup sugar, flour, 3 Tbsp. cocoa, baking powder and salt. Blend in milk, butter and vanilla, beat until smooth. Pour batter into 8 or 9 inch square pan. In small bowl, combine remaining 1/2 cup sugar, brown sugar, and remaining 4 Tbsp cocoa. Sprinkle mixture evenly over batter. Pour hot water over top. DO NOT STIR! Bake 35-40 minutes or until center is almost set. Let stand 15 minutes. Spoon into dessert dishes, spooning sauce from bottom over top. Serve with ice cream or Cool-Whip.

Mississippi Mud Fondue

(This is what we had last year with marshmallows, strawberries, graham crackers, brownie bites, pretzels, etc. for dipping. It was a huge hit and I am planning to do it again.)

1 cup heavy cream
1 (12 oz) pkg dark chocolate morsels
1 (7.5 oz) jar marshmallow creme
1/2 tsp vanilla extract

Bring cream to a boil in a large heavy-duty saucepan over medium high heat. Reduce to low, and simmer. Add chocolate morsels and stir until melted and smooth. Stir in marshmallow creme and vanilla, stirring constantly until smooth. Transfer to fondue pot and keep warm.

(Note: this recipe came from Southern Living, November 2009 edition)

Don't forget to come back next week for the main course!

Fiction Friday: Rae Meadows' Rules For Writing

I AM RE-POSTING THIS FROM WRITER RAE MEADOWS, WHOSE BOOK MOTHERS AND DAUGHTERS COMES OUT IN MARCH. I THOUGHT IT WAS RIGHT ON THE MONEY AND WORTH SHARING WITH YOU GUYS.

I’m not getting much writing done these days and sometimes I worry about having lost the ability. If I start thinking too much about the process, it all seems impossible. But I keep a list of things to remember—rules, I guess—which usually helps get me in the mood to write. I hope other writers might find some of these to be useful reminders, too. In no particular order, my top twenty.

1) Write a book you’d like to read.

2) Find an author you admire and learn from their plots, structures, and characters.

3) Finish the day’s writing when you still want to continue, so you have somewhere to start the next day.

4) A writing problem often clarifies itself in sleep, in the shower, or on a walk.

5) Beware of clichés at every level: expressions, set-ups, reactions, etc.

6) Use the verb “said” for dialogue. And stay away from adverbs modifying “said.”

7) Avoid going into great detail describing places and things. It’s usually boring.

8) Read dialogue aloud to yourself. This is the only way to hear the rhythms of speech.

9) If you feel very proud or attached to a turn of phrase, you’ll probably need to cut it.

10) You can never read your own book with objectivity. Show your work to a trusted friend.

11) When people tell you something’s wrong or doesn’t work for them, listen to them.

12) Give your work a title as quickly as possible.

13) Don’t overwrite. Cut out the metaphors, similes, adverbs, exclamations points and flowery language, wherever possible.

14) Editing is everything. Learn to be ruthless, even if it means cutting the first chapter.

15) Pace is essential. Think about books and movies you like.

16) Don’t be afraid to change your mind.

17) Be honest with yourself.

18) Be persistent.

19) Read.

20) Write. Writing is the one thing you can count on to make you a better writer.

(This post originally appeared here: http://raemeadows.com/writing/rules-for-writing/ )

Thursday Thought

Today I have a devotion running at P31. Thanks to all of you who visit after reading about sunshine and shade. What are you in right now? Sunshine? Shade? What are you looking longingly at? Are you missing what God has for you right where you are?

I will post this quote from writer Ann Voskamp, who is going to be stopping by to visit soon here at my blog to talk about her most excellent book One Thousand Gifts. "There's a reason I'm not writing the story and God is. He knows how it all works out, where it all leads, what it all means. I don't."

It's like Lisa said yesterday-- it's the not knowing that causes us to trust God for who He is and not what He does. That's when our faith grows.

May you feel shade today if you're limping along in the heat. And may you feel sunshine warm your face if you've been shivering in the cold. And in those moments of grace, may you draw the strength to keep going.

Psalms For Moms: Guest Post!

Last week my friend Zibilee commented on my Psalms for Moms post about some people at her church that had been healed of cancer. Her comment made me think of my friend Lisa, who just experienced an amazing healing in her life. She is one of the most profound prayer warriors I know so it makes sense that she would have something to share about this whole experience. With this in mind, I asked her to write this week's Psalms For Moms post and she graciously agreed. So, here's my friend Lisa Shea to share with you her experience about healing prayers and a Psalm that inspired her.


Psalm 18:25 “To the faithful you show yourself faithful….”

When we face trials of any kind we all struggle for wisdom in our situation and trusting God with a good outcome. The key to walking in adversity with a peace that surpasses all understanding is comprehending who God is in our life. It’s not a faith in our belief of who God is but a faith in who God says He is. There is a big difference.

I have walked through some rough trials in my life, as I am sure most of you have. Looking back I can see that God showed Himself faithful. As much as I hated going through those times, I wouldn’t change any of them. Why? Because it was in those trials that God showed up powerfully. I would not trade my deeper relationship with Him for a smoother path.

Setting your minds on who God is and being determined to glorify Him no matter what comes your way puts your best foot forward on a scary path. Remembering all He has done in your past reminds you that He will show up in the midst of what you are facing. Deuteronomy 31:6 promises that God will never leave you nor forsake you. If you have never stood on that promise, please start today. It is true and I have seen it over and over.

I love standing on God’s promises and declaring them over my life. The Word is powerful and effective as well as an offensive weapon in our armor of God. When I was told recently that I had an ovarian tumor and was given every possibility, (none of them good), I stood on who God is and what He can do. Regardless of how it played out, (a miraculous healing or walking through a long battle), I resolved to give God all the glory and trust in Him. We need to focus on His Truth not just man’s “facts”. I am thankful that God heard the prayers of many on my behalf. What was discovered on January 4th was no longer there on January 19th!! I praise Jesus, I am healed!

I know that outcomes aren’t always what we hope and pray for. God’s ways are not our ways yet He does promise to work all things for our good. Sometimes He doesn’t answer with a miraculous healing. I have seen that happen. What I stand on though, is that He is who He says He is and He will do what He says He will do. If we do our part in trusting Him, He will do His part and show up in ways we can never imagine. It’s because He IS faithful!

Lisa has set aside today to have her intercessors with her ministry, Rise Above, pray over any requests you guys post here. If it's private, feel free to post anonymously. She and her 12 intercessors will be praying on your behalf. This is a true gift for her to offer and one that you might want to take advantage of if you have a pressing need.

Thanks again Lisa-- I am still celebrating your miraculous healing (guys, her initial news was NOT good). A big smile crosses my face every time I think about it.

Tuesday Top Ten: My Favorite Cookbooks

Today I thought I'd share some of my "go to" cookbooks that provide me with lots of inspiration to make great food!

1. Sharing Grace This cookbook is by the Executive Director of P31, LeAnn Rice. LeAnn also shares recipes on her blog www.shecooks.org. Check out both of them!

2. Taste Of Home magazine I have subscribed to this magazine off and on throughout my married life. As of Christmas-- thanks to a gift from my mom-- I am back "on" with getting it. I have so many clipped favorites from my years of subscribing to this magazine collected in my recipe notebook.

3. Super Fast Slow Cooker Recipes (really any Gooseberry Patch cookbook is good but if I had to pick just one, this one would be it. I collect these cookbooks-- it's sort of embarrassing how many I have.

4. Fix It And Forget It Recipes For Entertaining Since I have a big family the "entertaining" part of this mostly just means larger portions that are just right for my crowd. I have made many recipes from this cookbook. It's one I will just pull out and start jotting down things to cook for the week when I am making my menu.

5. The Cake Mix Doctor This is a go-to for desserts. Easy cakes in a variety of flavors that all start with a box mix-- yet taste nothing like one when you're done. My husband really really dislikes box mixed cakes but he will eat these, which should tell you something. My friend Shari Braendel's birthday cake is in this cookbook-- she asked me to make her an orange cake and I thought "What?? Who asks for an orange cake??" I went to this trusty volume and found one and it was dee-lish with fresh squeezed orange juice in the glaze that went over it. We all barely refrained from licking our plates.

6. Cooking With Class This is only available used now but this locally produced cookbook is a classic you will find on many cookbook shelves in kitchens across our fair city. I have both volumes. Buy them if you can find them. The first volume is where my banana bread recipe came from!

7. The Pioneer Woman Cooks Her cinnamom roll recipe is in here. And many, many others. With pictures. I like pictures. I like her humor. This is a cookbook you want to get in bed with at night and read before you fall asleep. It will definitely give you sweet dreams.

8. Southern Plate Christy's new cookbook is similar to PW's in that it also has lots of pictures. My aunt made the depression bread pudding and said it was wonderful. Again, you had me with the pictures. And southern cooking. I love my southern cooking.

9. Rival CrockPot Three Books In One (Slow Cooker Favorites, Winning Slow Cooker Recipes, Slow Cooker Recipes For All Occasions) I have so many of these recipes marked to try. This one seems to have a lot of Mexican themed recipes so if you like slow cookers and you like Mexican, buy it. I found mine on a bargain table at Barnes and Noble or somewhere like that but I've included a link to buy it at Amazon.

10. Granny's Drawers This one also appears to be out of print, but there were used copies to be had on Amazon. I almost forgot this one because I've-- gulp!-- lost mine. I think I loaned it to someone and it wasn't returned. Which means I will be buying one of the used copies at Amazon posthaste. This cookbook is actually written by a family friend a couple of times removed. (My step-sister's husband's mom's best friend's niece wrote it-- see what I mean?) From it I derived my brown rice casserole and learned how to cook a frozen turkey breast... while it's still frozen. This is worth the price of the cookbook right there.

Ok I hope maybe out of this list you'll find one little treasure to purchase and peruse. It's been fun to take stock of my cookbooks and figure out which ones are my faves... and why. Many of my faves are the church ones you can't buy off Amazon, so I couldn't list them here. Why tell you about something you can't have.

And my most favorite resource is the one I made myself-- the notebook of all my clipped recipes I've collected over the years.

Someday I will write a cookbook for you guys. Just as soon as I get the time...

In A Food Mood: Last Soup Recipe

As January draws to a close, I am posting my last soup recipes. I hope you guys have been inspired to try some of the recipes. Thanks to those of you who have written to me, commented on Facebook or left comments here letting me know that you tried them and your families liked them. That means a lot.

For my last recipe, I decided to post a few links to some good soup recipes I've found around the internet:

First off is Renee Swope's Chicken Noodle Soup. I've written about this soup before and our fun winter day we spent together when she made this. My kids loved it. Try it-- it's easy, quick and delish! Plus chicken soup is supposed to be good for you.

This is the soup I made with our leftover turkey after Thanksgiving. You could also use leftover chicken or just tear apart a rotisserie chicken like Renee does for her soup.

Here's a recipe for white chicken chili. This is a favorite at our house. (Scroll down to get to the recipe... it's there.)

And finally, here's a recipe for a hamburger vegetable soup made in the crockpot that looks super good. I am putting this on my menu plans for this week!

Next week I will be back with some suggestions for Valentine's Day goodies-- which of course means chocolate!! See you then!

Fiction Friday: Saying The Same Thing In Different Ways

I like what Donald Maass has to say about conveying our passionate opinions: “They are always stronger in the mouths of characters than in the prose of the author.”
(Source: http://southernauthors.blogspot.com/2010/11/giving-thanks-for-brain-injury.html)

I started out writing non-fiction and quickly discovered that I struggled with the teaching style that came with writing a non-fiction book. Obviously my struggle came through in the writing and I only got one book contract out of the countless ideas I pitched over the years. I think it became painfully obvious that I was not cut out for this kind of writing. I needed to follow my heart.

But did that mean that my days of having something to say had to end? Nope. It just meant I wasn't going to be the one saying it anymore. Now my characters got to do it.

In my new novel (coming in June) my main character has some hard lessons to learn about pedestals and authenticity and striving for perfection. Now, I could've written a non-fiction book about these same things but honestly-- truly-- I know that I said it better by telling you a story about someone who was struggling with these things than by writing an essay about my own struggles.

I will close with this quote:
If you want to tell people what to think, write non-fiction. If you want to show them who you are, write fiction.

I hope to keep showing people who I am-- and what I'm learning about life-- through the stories I tell. I'll let my characters do the talking for me.

Thursday Thought: The Best Thing I Do For My Marriage

Once a month Curt and I go and sit in front of a counselor. This person is trained to help couples learn how to talk through issues and deal with things constructively. Now, Curt and I aren't in trouble. In fact, as I write this we're very very happy. But we do have struggles and issues. And we need a third party sometimes to help us sort through those struggles and issues. Because if left to our own devices we choose some very dumb ways-- ways that hurt the other person.

The other day our counselor gave us a sheet of "losing strategies-- things that keep you from getting what you want most in your marriage." Things on the list included making a case like a lawyer, striving to get the facts right, bullying or somehow attempting to control the other person, verbal escalation, thinking you're entitled to vent, passive aggressive behavior, put-downs, shutting down or withdrawing, etc. I am ashamed to admit how many of those things on that list I have done in the past or present. Some are lifelong habits, some are heat of the moment mistakes. But I do a lot of 'em. And I don't want to anymore. Our counselor is helping us learn how to change our behavior, reprogram ourselves. Listen effectively. Communicate effectively. Big stuff. Necessary stuff.

The more I am married the more I learn that marriage is hard work. But if you're willing to do the hard work (including investing the money and taking the time to sit in front of a counselor as much as it takes), you can have a great marriage. I feel like going to sit in front of a counselor and learn from him what we don't inherently know is like scheduled maintenance on a car. It's the smart thing to do-- and it saves you from breaking down in the future. I am glad we do this and I would urge any of you who feel like counseling would benefit you (hint: I would be willing to bet this is most of you-- especially if you're raising kids and dealing with all the financial, emotional, etc. stress that comes with that) to make yourself an appointment. Seeking counseling isn't admitting weakness, it's positioning your marriage for greatness.

Psalms For Moms

Those who know your name trust in you. You, Lord, never forsake those who seek you.
Psalm 8:9

Are you seeking Him? He promises that if you seek Him, He will never (strong language) forsake you.

If you're feeling forsaken right now, press in. Trust. He isn't far away even if He seems like it. Believe. He's working it out even in the silence.

Hang onto that truth today. And keep seeking Him.

Top Ten Tuesday... A Little Late

Top Ten Reasons Why Buying A Car Is A Pain...

1. It takes Too. Much. Time. Three whole entire days were swallowed up by our searching. Today I am scrambling to get stuff done and feeling very behind the eight ball.

2. It costs Too. Much. Money. There is no "inexpensive way" to replace a vehicle. My van died of old age quietly in the driveway after nearly dying on the side of the road and scaring my children and me. We managed to get home as she valiantly got us one last time where we were going. But attempting to get her out on the road one more time was just too risky after that. She just can't be trusted anymore. The old girl had 200K miles on her. It was time to let her go. And yet, I wasn't ready to replace her. Are we ever truly ready?

3. There are a lot of people who do not take care of their cars. Curt is very picky about what car he gets-- it needs to be clean. Really clean. That crossed a LOT of cars off our list.

4. There are a lot of people selling used cars who are shifty. We met a few along the way. We did not buy their cars.

5. It feels more urgent when you're buying a car under the gun as we were. We need two vehicles for our 8 member family. My son has a car but it's for his use for school and work and social. He helped us out some but he's gone in his car a lot. So that left Curt's car functioning as transportation for 7 people. When they were going in two different directions at the same time, it got dicey. Plus his car doesn't fit us all. We couldn't all go to church on Sunday. We need two cars and we need at least one of those cars to fit us all. That would be mine.

6. SUV's are big. And they guzzle gas. And I drove a Suburban for years before I got my van. I didn't want another SUV. Yet they are one of the obvious options for transporting as many people as we have. But I wasn't feeling an SUV this time. Can't explain why except it just wasn't "me."

7. Vans are great. They hold a lot of people and they aren't bad on gas. Plus they aren't expensive in the grander scheme of things. But I've driven a van for a great many years. And I knew that whatever vehicle I am getting I will also drive til it dies of old age. I didn't want to be in a van for the next ten years as my kids are getting driving licenses and I am no longer a minivan mom but transitioning out of that phase of my life. Wanted to think beyond that.

8. Which led us to crossovers. They are pretty cool, not bad on gas, and fit us all. They are also pretty expensive-- and yet, I kept coming back to them. Curt just shook his head and said "It's your car. You need to be happy in it because you're going to drive it for a long, long time. Choose wisely." I kept saying, "I just wish the van hadn't died." And he kept saying, "Well it did, so pick something already!"

9. People that work in car dealerships are pretty nice. Especially the guy who sold us our vehicle last night as we slumped into chairs at his desk, looking relieved to have found "the one" we'd been searching for high and low. He told us about his new baby who is 8 weeks old. And about his 23 year old. We laughed about the dichotomy of raising young adults and little ones all at the same time. He's nearly 50 and his wife is 43. My hat's off to him and we were even happier to give him the commission off our sale. We knew how much he needed it.

10. What kind of car did we get? A 2007 GMC Acadia. It's "cool" according to my kids. We're happy. Mostly I am just happy that it's done. Lord willing, I don't intend to go through that for another ten years. Phew!

In A Food Mood

Still hanging in there with the soup posts. Hope you guys are liking these...

Is chili soup? It's served in a bowl, eaten with a spoon and served in cold weather months. I say that qualifies. This is my own recipe after hodge-podging several different recipes into one. Since I made it up I get to call it whatever I want. I named it after my alma mater. You can name it whatever you want. Serve it with cornbread or over yellow rice or with tortilla chips and shredded cheese. However you serve it, it's good!

Wolfpack Chili

(NC State's colors are red and black and you use red and black beans)

2 lbs ground beef

3/4 cup of chopped onion

2 (16 oz.) cans of diced tomatoes, chili style

1 can black beans, rinsed and drained

1 can light red kidney beans, rinsed and drained

2 cans (8 oz.) tomato sauce

1 cup beef broth (bouillon cube dissolved in one cup boiling water)

2 Tbsp. chili powder

1 Tbsp. cumin

1 clove garlic, minced

1 tsp. black pepper

red pepper to taste

2 tsp. salt


Brown ground beef and onion together. Drain well. Mix all ingredients with drained beef and let simmer for several hours. Dee-lish!

Fiction Friday: Writers Of A Certain Age

Here’s another thing to consider. If you always wanted to write, and now you are
A Certain Age, and you never got around to it, and you think it’s too late…do
please think again. I watched Julia Glass win the National Book Award for her
first novel, “The Three Junes”, which she began writing in her late 30’s. I
listened to her give her moving acceptance speech, in which she told how she
used to lie awake at night, tormented as she worked on her book, asking herself,
“Who do you think you are, trying to write a first novel at your age?” But she
wrote it. And as she held up her National Book Award, she said, “This is for all
the late-bloomers in the world.” Writing is not like dancing or modeling; it’s
not something where – if you missed it by age 19 – you’re finished. It’s never
too late. Your writing will only get better as you get older and wiser. If you
write something beautiful and important, and the right person somehow discovers
it, they will clear room for you on the bookshelves of the world – at any age.
At least try.

(Quote from this article: http://www.elizabethgilbert.com/writing.htm)

I read this quote and this article on the same day. Both resonated with me, the thought that it really is never too late to try your hand at your artistic passion-- whether it's singing, writing, painting, sculpting... whatever. I believe when we create we are doing what we were created to do. We were made in the image of the Creator, after all. If we bear His image, it stands to reason that we would also, then, be compelled to create.

Age shouldn't matter when we're doing what we were called to do, and striving to take hold of what God has promised. Reading this passage from the Bible about Caleb-- who had to wait til he was 85 to see his calling come to fruition-- was encouraging to me. Perhaps it will be inspiring to those of you who are writers of a certain age.

Joshua 14:10-14
10 “Now then, just as the LORD promised, he has kept me alive for forty-five years since the time he said this to Moses, while Israel moved about in the wilderness. So here I am today, eighty-five years old! 11 I am still as strong today as the day Moses sent me out; I’m just as vigorous to go out to battle now as I was then. 12 Now give me this hill country that the LORD promised me that day. You yourself heard then that the Anakites were there and their cities were large and fortified, but, the LORD helping me, I will drive them out just as he said.” 13 Then Joshua blessed Caleb son of Jephunneh and gave him Hebron as his inheritance.

Thursday Thought

"Home is any four walls that enclose the right person." Helen Rowland

I am taking some time to work around my house today (cooking, cleaning, laundry, and other such exciting tasks) so I don't have time for a long blog post. Will be back tomorrow with a post about writing fiction for those "writers of a certain age."

In the meantime, enjoy your home today-- whatever it looks like, wherever it is.

Psalms For Moms: A Good Verse For This New Year

Lead me in the right path, O Lord...

Make your way plain for me to
follow.

Ps 5:8 NLT

What mom doesn't need this verse posted on her fridge, her bathroom mirror, and her dashboard?

A) I need help knowing the right path.

B) I need the way to be plain. Cause I am not the fastest horse in the gate.

Plain and simple, I need a lot of help. And I am glad I know the source for the help. God is always faithful to lead me to the answers I need, pointing me to the right path, no matter how far off it I wander.

Top Ten Tuesday: Books You Should Read This Year

A few weeks ago, I shared a top ten list of books I want to read in the coming year. Because I love fiction, most all of mine were novels-- with some writing books thrown in for good measure. Later, I must confess, I sat down with my Amazon cart list, my library hold list, and my jotted down titles and created a more encompassing list... and came up with 38 novels I want to read this year. Call me ambitious, but I think I can do it. Of course, it will mean less tv this year but that's ok.

Mark Hamby, a speaker I love, says that the only things that will have changed us years from now are the people we meet and the books we read. That is so true.

And so, this week I thought I would share a top ten list of books that have changed me. Books that made me think differently after having read them. These books are important books-- books that, if you are looking for something to read and haven't read them, you should put on your list.

And so, here they are (in no certain order):

1. A Million Miles In A Thousand Years by Donald Miller: This was a book from last year that is one I will most likely re-read once a year, going through it slowly. It's about living a better story, which appeals to me both as a writer and a person.

2. Traveling Mercies by Anne Lamott: I could list all of her books but I won't. I will just pick this one because I love it the most if I have to pick a favorite. I love Anne Lamott and have ever since I first read Operating Instructions back when my 18yo was a baby. For the record, I also love Bird By Bird. And Plan B. But Traveling Mercies is the book I went with for this particular list.

3. Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller: This book was so good for me to read. I inhaled it. It's the perfect blend of great writing and gripping truth.

4. Quaker Summer by Lisa Samson: This is the only novel on the list. This book made me think long and hard about who I am and what I commit to... and why.

5. In The Pit With A Lion On A Snowy Day by Mark Batterson. This book inspired me big time. I read it last year and this year am going through it again with a group of writer friends online. Just as powerful the second time.

6. What Happens When Women Say Yes To God by Lysa TerKeurst. This was the book that started me on the journey of listening to God and doing what He tells me to do. I am still on the journey and amazed at the adventure it has taken me on thus far.

7. Sun Stand Still by Steven Furtick: My pastor. Powerful book. I get this kind of teaching every week and feel very blessed for it. If you can't live in Charlotte and go to Elevation you can buy this book and get a dose of it.

8. Battlefield Of The Mind by Joyce Meyer: This one is about the way you think-- and how to change your thought life. Powerful stuff. As one of my friends said, she could read this one every six months and still not get out everything in it.

9. Love And Respect by Emerson Eggerich: Curt and I went to his marriage weekend two years ago and love the message of this book. Men want respect, women want love. How can both parties get what they want? Life changing way to look at marriage. Also, a bonus book along these same lines is The Five Love Languages. Another life-changing book that makes you think differently about marriage. And no mention of marriage books would be complete without mentioning my friend Melanie Chitwood's book What Every Husband Needs From His Wife. A great, easy read full of good info.

10. Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey: Ok, so I didn't actually read this book but Curt did. And I sat through his 6 hour class based on this book. And it's the book that started our journey out of debt, so I count it as life-changing.

What books would go on this list for you, if you were to make one?

In A Food Mood: Soup Is Good Food

Here's a fast beef stew you can make in the crockpot.

2 packages of frozen vegetables for stew

1.5 pounds beef stew meat, cut into 1 inch cubes

1 can cream of mushroom soup

1 can tomato soup

1 envelope onion soup mix

Place veggies in slow cooker. Brown beef in oil on all sides in skillet. Add meat to slow cooker. Combine soups and mix and pour over top. Cook on low for 6-7 hours or until beef is tender. Remember that the longer the cooking time, the more tender the beef will get because you are breaking down the connective tissue that makes the beef tough. So if you like meat you can cut with a fork (I do!) don't skimp on your cooking time.

Fiction Friday: Many Or Few

Today I have a devotion running at Proverbs 31 Ministries. Thanks to all of you who stop by after reading. On Fridays I talk about fiction since I write fiction and Fiction Fridays has a nice ring to it. :)

Today I thought I would attempt to tie the subject matter of my devotion to the craft of writing fiction. We'll see if I can pull it off.

The devotion talks about nothing hindering God from saving us, whether by many or by few. I gave some real-life examples of the lack (the few) and the abundance (the many) we all face that might make us feel hindered at times.

I know as a writer, I've felt both the many and the few in my career. I have had times of many ideas. I have had times of few contracts. I have had times of many opportunities and times of few moments to write. I've had times of many deadlines and times of few inspiration. I know what it means to swing back and forth on the writing pendulum, living in the place of never enough.

In my devotion today, I talked about how God can save us whether by many or by few. He has met me in my times of many and my times of few. He has saved me when I lacked inspiration or time, provided connections when I had none, helped me meet impossible deadlines and keep track of the inspirations that strike me.

God will save us, whether by many or by few. He does it in life, and in writing-- providing resources where we have none and stacking the odds so He can show Himself strong.

Thursday Thought

Today I am not here. I know I seem like I am here, but I am not. I am actually in a tiny town called Jefferson TX living my wildest fiction writing fantasy. I am getting to hang out with some writers I have loved for a long time and meet some writers I've always wanted to meet. I am getting to meet some new writer friends and meet a bunch of women who love to read. In other words, I am at Girlfriends Weekend!!

Next week I am hoping to post pictures of my adventures in Jefferson TX with the Pulpwood Queens. I can't wait to share about my experience at this weekend that I've heard described as crazy and unreal and most of all FUN. Anytime a bunch of writer types gather with a bunch of reader types you're guaranteed for hilarity and hijinks to ensue.

I am sure this weekend will not disappoint. Stay tuned for updates...

Psalms For Moms

Psalm 119:71 (MSG)

My troubles turned out all for the best--
They forced me to learn from your textbook.

For some reason when I was posting this verse I thought of lyrics to the old Garth Brooks' song, The Dance. In the song he says, "I would've missed the pain, but I'd've had to miss the dance." In a way that's what this verse is saying.


January is a month for focusing on what's to come, like yesterday when I wrote about choosing a word for the coming year. But it's also a month for thinking about the year that's just passed. Perhaps 2010 was a painful year for you. Perhaps your troubles-- as today's verse says-- forced you to turn to God's textbook, His Word. As you faced things too big for you to handle, you went to Him for guidance, comfort, wisdom. You grew closer to God as a result. As my pastor said in a recent sermon, "Trouble will make you look for God."


My friend Rachel shared with me that she has always looked back at the year that was and named it. Maybe as you evaluate what your year was like and what you learned from it, you can name your year as well. With half of 2010 spent without Curt's income, I would name our year the year of Reliance. We went to Him with our every need, and found Him faithful. Our troubles turned out all for the best. We looked for God harder than we ever have. And we found Him in His promises, His peace, and His people.

Top Ten Tuesday: Words For The Year

This past weekend at an event I spoke at, I encouraged the participants to choose a word for this new year and let that word be the focus in everything they do. This whole concept is much simpler than a list of resolutions and becomes the filter through which you approach everything. I got this idea from my friend Ann Voskamp, who wrote a challenging post about her tradition of naming her year.

After I talked about it, my friend Rachel Olsen, who was there, shared with me that this concept was begun by her pastor Mike Ashcraft six years ago. There is even a website called www.myoneword.org. I was excited to find out there are resources available to us. If you are choosing a word for this year, this site is worth visiting.

So today I thought I would share ten ideas for words you might want to choose. These are words I've read about other people choosing. I think they will get your brain going and hopefully inspire you to choose a word of your own. If you'd like to, you can comment and share what your word is.

1. JOY: This is my word for the year. I chose it because it is something that keeps coming up with me-- choosing joy, or finding it, in all circumstances. I don't naturally do that, but I want to. When a coordinator for an event I did several weeks ago sent me a handmade pewter ornament with the word JOY on it at the very same time I was praying about what word would be the right one, I knew this was the word for me! Instead of hanging the ornament on my tree, it is now hanging in my kitchen window, where I can see a reminder every day.

2. PAUSE: Maybe you need to slow down and savor this life of yours. Choosing pause would be a good reminder to do just that.

3. BELIEVE: Do you need to believe God's promises even as you journey through a dark time? Then believe might be the word for you. You could even read a book like Beth Moore's Believing God to kick off the year and inspire you to believe fully.

4. IMPERFECT: Do you struggle with perfectionism? Then maybe you need to view everything this year with this word as your focus. Maybe you need to remember that it's ok to be imperfect and that God doesn't expect perfection out of you-- He loves you even when you mess up... and He knows you will. It is in your imperfect state that His perfection shines.

5. CONSISTENT: This is my husband's word for the year. I think he should be consistent in giving me whatever I want and attending to my every whim but somehow I don't think that's what he had in mind.

6. STORY: This is a friend of mine's word for the year and I had word envy after I heard it. Oh well, there's always next year! If you've been thinking of living a better story this year (read A Million Miles In A Thousand Years to be inspired in this department) then this might be the word for you. If music is more your thing, then maybe your word could be SONG.

7. ACTION: Do you desire to be a woman of action? Then this might be the word for you.

8. SIMPLIFY: Does clutter dominate your life-- household clutter, commitment clutter, etc? Simplify might be what God is speaking to your heart. Maybe He wants to help you clean house-- physically and emotionally-- this year and discover the freedom and peace that comes with simplifying your life.

9. SURRENDER: Maybe God's been speaking to you about surrendering your life to Him-- letting go of the control you crave. Maybe you need to surrender in all areas-- your marriage, your parenting, your home, your heart. If that's true of you, surrender will define this coming year for you.

10. THRIVE. This is a friend of mine's word for the year. She said she's been living life on autopilot too long and she wants to stop. She wants to live beyond surviving and thrive instead. I loved this.

And finally, if you want to get a reminder for what your year's theme is, you can visit this website and have it put on a necklace! Love this!!

What will your word be for this year? Feel free to comment and share it if you know what it is. And remember, your word for the year isn't something you have to have figured out by a certain deadline-- it's something you can take time to discover, listening to the themes that keep cropping up in your life, paying attention to what God wants to say to you about who you are, and who He is leading you to be.

In A Food Mood: Soup Is Good Food

Baked Potato Soup

Our family will be having this soup sometime this week. Not only is it fairly fast to assemble, it's hearty, filling, and cheap!

2 Tbsp. butter or margarine

2 Tbsp. all-purpose flour

1 lg. onion, chopped

1 can chicken broth, plus one can water

3 large potatoes

salt and pepper to taste

1 cup milk

Peel and dice potatoes. Cover them with water and boil until tender. Drain and set aside. Melt butter in dutch oven (large, deep pot) over low heat. Whisk in flour til smooth. Cook, whisking constantly for one minute. Stir in onion and cook for two minutes or until tender. Add chicken broth and water. Stir. Simmer. Add potatoes that were cooked, salt and pepper. Stir in milk. Cook until heated through.

Serve with shredded cheese, crumbled bacon bits, a dollop of sour cream, sliced green onions, etc.

Fiction Friday

For today I am not going to share. I am going to let two more experienced, wiser writers do that for me.

James Scott Bell's post on 10 Writing Tips for Writing Fiction is dead on. He puts into writing several things I've discovered through writing these two novels and as I've worked on this third one I am playing around with. He just says it better than I could.

Mary Alice Monroe's post You Mean I Can Be A Writer When I Grow Up? is worth the read. It got me thinking. It'll get you thinking/reflecting, too.

Thursday Thought: My Own Little World

If you read my devotion that's running at Proverbs 31's Encouragement For Today, you will read of my propensity to want to be alone... it's something that God-- who has a sense of humor-- has challenged me on by surrounding me with a husband and six children!

Instead of pontificating on this subject any further I am going to share this video instead, because Matthew West has said it better than I could:



Is it just me or does anyone else struggle with living in their own little world, population of one?

Psalms For Moms

"But you are a shield around me, O Lord; you bestow glory on me and lift up my head." Psalm 3:3

He protects us, shields us, surrounds us.

He bestows glory on us. We don't gain it for ourselves.

When we are down, He lifts our heads, helping us refocus on what's necessary, what's important. He doesn't let us navel gaze... instead He redirects our sights on serving, giving, loving others. I love the picture of Him cupping our chins and lifting our heads.

This spoke to me today.

Perhaps it will speak to one of you, right where you're at. That's what the Psalms do for me.

Ten Books I Plan To Read This Year

I am changing a couple of my reading habits this year. I am going to keep a reading journal for the first year ever. Every year I say I am, this year I am. I always regret that I can't remember what I read in a given year. I want to keep a record of that. Books are important to me, this is a way of marking that importance in some way.
I am also stopping my holds at the library until I have read the books in my house that I want to read. This is huge for me, as my holds list is usually maxed out. But I fall victim to putting off reading the books I own because the library books are on a deadline. This creates a never-ending cycle of having some really good books languish in my book basket by my bed, while pop fiction books get read and returned again and again. This year I am trying to read books that will make me a better writer by reading great writers. And so, the list:

1. All of Anne Tyler's works starting with the book she considers her best, Dinner At The Homesick Restaurant. (yes, that's more than ten but did you really want me to just list ten of her titles?? didn't think so) I see her referenced as inspirational to a lot of writers, so I figured I'd work my way through her body of work. Incidentally, I find it extremely comforting that she didn't feel she'd hit her stride as a writer til her 9th book. Gives me great hope that maybe... just maybe... I will feel like I've produced something good in another 7 books. :)

2. Pat Conroy's Prince of Tides, Beach Music, and South of Broad. I read Prince of Tides in 1988 and haven't read the other two. It's time, especially considering I am going to get to meet him at this in just a few weeks!

3. Ann Voskamp's 1000 Gifts. I plan to read that this month and then begin logging my own 1000 gifts. (Read most of it in the fall but want to read it slowly and take it all in this time... it's one of those kinds of books.) This book will be a whole post unto itself in the near future. Perhaps the dear Ann will visit with us here and talk about this amazing book.

4. The Truth That Tells A Lie by John Dufresne


5. The Anatomy of Story by John Truby


6. Writing The Breakout Novel Workbook by Donald Maass


7. Deep and Wide by Susan May Warren


8. The Hero's Journey by Michael Hauge (this is actually a dvd but I am including it)

(#4-8 are all writing books)

9. The Paris Wife by Paula McLain. This was available at Books Alive that I went to back in November. I picked it up because it talks about Hemingway in Paris. I can't wait to dive into it. I got an advanced copy but it comes out in February. I love Hemingway and I still count A Farewell To Arms as one of my all-time faves.

10. TBD-- leaving a spot for that one that sneaks in and demands to be attended to.

I know I will read a lot more than ten books this year. These are just the ones at the top of my list right now. What about you? What's on your top ten list of books to read this year?

In A Food Mood: Soup Is Good Food

This month I am going to share my favorite soup recipes because it's January, and no month (other than February) calls for a once a week pot of soup more than January. The best part about soup is there are so many different varieties! And it's a meal in a bowl! Veggie, starch and meat... oh my!

The other day I tweeted (my tweets can be found in the top of the sidebar on the right of this blog or you can follow me on Twitter @marybethwhalen) that I was making Italian Chicken Stew and cornbread for dinner. I had a lot of responses from twitter followers and Facebook friends (my tweets post as my status to Facebook-- how clever that they offer that!) for the recipe. So I am sharing that first because apparently a lot of people like the sound of Italian Chicken Stew.

Step 1) Boil a package of chicken breasts (2 pounds) for about an hour. Take the meat out and shred it. (You can do this any time. You can freeze or refrigerate the meat depending on how far in advance you do it.) You can also buy a rotisserie chicken from the grocery store and peel all the meat off it. See all the options you have??

Step 2) Pour a tablespoon of oil in a pot and heat it. Add some diced up onion (about a cup) to it. Stir it around for about 5 minutes-- til the onion becomes translucent, which is a fancy word for see-through. (Can you tell I've been reading Fancy Nancy books to my 5yo?)

Step 3) Add to the onion 2 large cans of diced tomatoes (the 28 oz size). These can be plain or with spices. I like the kind with spices. Add 3 cans of Veg-All (drained) or a bag of mixed frozen veggies. Add a box of chicken broth. (I also added some chicken bouillon cubes and 2 cups of water because I wanted more soup than stew-- totally up to you.) Then add the chicken and a tsp of Italian seasoning, some garlic salt and pepper and two bay leaves. Bring to a boil, then reduce heat to low and simmer for several hours. If you want to boil some noodles separately and add at the end, you can.

Voila! You have Italian Chicken Stew (or Soup, if you do what I did). We ate off this for days so if you have a smaller family than mine-- most people do-- you might want to give half away or freeze half for a meal in February, which as I said, is also good soup weather. This soup is good food. And it's especially good with cornbread crumbled on top of it. Just sayin.

Pondering And Peaceful Devotion

Today I have a devotion running at Proverbs 31. I am taking these weeks before and after Christmas off to spend with my family but I did want to welcome you to my blog if you've stopped by after reading. I invite you to scroll back through my more recent posts. You might find some recipes you can use for your family, some ideas for making your Christmas special, or some encouragement from the Psalms.

My family wishes yours a Christmas filled with joy. I look forward to seeing you all back here the first Monday in January!

A Contest

Go here to enter and you and 3 selected ministries could win! http://www.facebook.com/NewLivingTranslation?v=app_28134323652&ref=ts

Fiction Friday: My Story Notebook

**Read all the way to the end to find out about a FREE writer's conference in January!**

Last Friday I talked about my Idea Doc, a document on my computer that I created to house all my ideas.

This Friday I am going to talk about my Story Notebook. I don't have a fancy name for this notebook. It's just a spiral notebook, usually a five subject with a vinyl cover so I can really beat it up and it won't fall apart. This thing gets drug all over the country so it needs to be durable.

Here's what I include in my story notebook:

Character Sketches-- I jot down ideas for what the characters look like, their backstory, their likes, dislikes, etc.

Things That Could Happen-- If I get an idea for something that might happen in the story, I put it in that notebook as soon as I can. I carry a notebook in my purse to jot down notes when I am out, then make sure to put that idea in my Story Notebook as soon as possible when I get home.

Ideas For Other Stories-- If I have an idea for a book I am thinking of writing in the future, I jot those down too. I just make a heading at the top of the page indicating what book idea it's for.

Editing Notes-- In this notebook I make my lists of what I need to do according to what my editor said in her macroedit letter. Sometimes her thoughts are more global, like "Strengthen the relationship between this character and this character." I make a list of ways I can do that, scenes I need to write, etc.

Story Structure-- This is where I flesh out the story in a rough outline: this happens, then this happens, then this happens. It's very rough but it helps me see the trajectory of the story.

Freewriting-- I might just jot down a rough scene that I want to flesh out later. But the image or the feelings for that scene are occurring now and I want to capture them before they are gone like the wind, which is common for me as I get older.

Notes I Take From Writing Books I Am Reading-- This is just quotes, questions to ask about my story structure, my character development, ideas I can use in my writing, etc.

As you can see, this idea notebook is not set in stone. There's no right or wrong way to do it. There's nothing that's off limits to go in there. It's just a repository for my thoughts, bound between two covers, held together by a thin, coiled wire. Oh, and dreams.

**In January there will be a free writers' conference offered at Lifeway's Ridgecrest Center. The only cost to you is your lodging and food. This is a good deal if you live within a reasonable drive from the mountains of North Carolina. Details can be found here: http://stuartmarket.blogspot.com/2010/12/writers-advance-bootcamp.html

Thursday Thought: One Year Later

Tomorrow is an important anniversary for our family-- one that we've talked about off and on in the past few weeks. Tomorrow marks the one year anniversary of the day Curt lost his job. We are a different family now than we were then. A better one. Isn't that always true of anything you go through? You wouldn't want to go through it again, and yet you look back and see the positive changes the trial brought about in your life?

I don't know what we will do to mark the day. I know that Curt's been thinking about it a lot. I know that we feel very blessed that he is employed one year later. He's joked about taking biscuits to his former office (he had brought biscuits into the office that morning and his boss actually asked him for a biscuit after he fired him... true story!). I will be attending the P31 Christmas get-together and getting to see a friend of the ministry who has walked through the trial of breast cancer this year. I will get to celebrate with her that we've both come through our trials with changed perspectives, a broader scope that makes us better people.

Most of all, I intend to smile a lot tomorrow, and to thank God throughout the day-- not just for the provision of a job, but for the lessons we've learned. One year later we've grown. One year later we've experienced Him in a whole new way. One year later we have more to be thankful for. One year later we know that He is the answer. We knew that one year ago, but we've lived it one year later.

Psalms For Moms

Psalm 126

1 When the LORD restored the fortunes of Zion,
we were like those who dreamed.
2 Our mouths were filled with laughter,
our tongues with songs of joy.
Then it was said among the nations,
“The LORD has done great things for them.”
3 The LORD has done great things for us,
and we are filled with joy.

4 Restore our fortunes, LORD,
like streams in the Negev.
5 Those who sow with tears
will reap with songs of joy.
6 Those who go out weeping,
carrying seed to sow,
will return with songs of joy,
carrying sheaves with them.

One of the girls in my online writing group sent this Psalm out to another writer who was having a rough day. We all appreciated reading it, as it meant different things to different ones of us. I thought it was an approprate Psalm to share with you guys, as it expresses the hope of great things to come, the value of dreaming of a bright future. Sure we might be weeping now, but we have a harvest of joy waiting just ahead. For those of you who are struggling with finances or marriage or parenting or just... life, let this Psalm be your prayer today, praising Him for what's to come and trusting that it is, indeed, just ahead.

Top Ten Tuesday: 10 Fun Things To Do With Your Kids Over Christmas Break

1. Take them to see lights in your town-- most towns have some sort of light display. Stop for hot chocolate and donuts afterwards.

2. Attend a performance at a church as a family. Many churches offer free musicals/plays with talented musicians and performers.

3. Plan a different goodie to bake with them each day. Buy a Christmas Cookie cookbook or peruse websites for recipes. Post a list on the fridge of what you're going to bake each day. Involve them as much as possible. Then make a production out of packaging the goodies really fancy and taking them to neighbors, friends, pastors, etc. Kids love to deliver goodies to neighbors!

4. Find one easy craft you can do with them. Years ago we glued little balled up tissue paper to cut out circles from paper plates to make wreaths. It wasn't hard or terribly messy, and the kids loved it. Find something like that you can do.

5. Take them to see Santa. Go out to lunch afterwards.

6. Go to the dollar store and let them pick out something for each family member. Let them wrap the gifts and put them under the tree.

7. Check out Christmas books at the library. Read them aloud. The Best Christmas Pageant Ever by Barbara Robinson is funny and will take you a few days of reading to get through. Well worth the read if you haven't read it! (I have a list of our favorite titles in my Christmas ebook, A Recipe For Christmas Joy.)

8. Try to find a live nativity to visit. Come home and read the story from the Bible.

9. Check your local library or community center for special craft classes or activity days they are having for kids. These are usually free or have a small fee.

10. Get some families together and go Christmas caroling. Involve the kids in selecting the songs, making a special snack and a pot of wassail to come home to.

In A Food Mood

I have decided that this will be my last week of posts until the new year. Why, you ask? Because for the next two weeks my kids will be out of school, my husband will have some time off work, my edits are done, and I am going to RE-LAX and focus on my family and the holiday. I suggest you all do the same if you can.

(Ok, confession time: I will be writing some every day. I can't help it. It's fun for me. I know... it's a sickness. And I am enjoying enjoying writing again. During the edits I hated it and thought I'd never do so with joy again. Since Christmas is about joy, why not do something that's bringing me exactly that?)

But I digress... this is not "Fiction Friday," this is "In A Food Mood" Monday. Sorry!

Today for "In A Food Mood" I thought I'd share a link to a cookie recipe that I intend to bake with my kids while they're home. These look so much easier than the tedious cut and decorate kind. I love doing those, but if time does not lend itself to doing those, these are a nice alternative.

But wait, there's more!

Here is a bar recipe that I am going to send to my kids' school for the cookie exchange the parents are putting on for the teachers. Isn't that such a neat idea? Perhaps all schools do this and I am just late to this party because my kids were home with me for so many years. But I think blessing the teachers with homebaked cookies when they don't have time to make them themselves because they are busy teaching and loving on our kids (ideally) is so great! Each parent only has to send in a dozen so that makes this idea very doable. We'll even have some to keep for ourselves... which is a plus, or not, depending on how you look at it.

Here's the recipe:

Congo Bars

1 cup margarine, melted
2 1/4 cups brown sugar, packed
3 eggs
2 1/2 cups self-rising flour
12 oz. pkg semi-sweet chocolate chips

Mix margarine and brown sugar together. Add eggs, one at a time, beating well after each. Slowly stir in flour and chocolate chips; spread into a greased 13X9" baking pan. Bake at 350 for 35 minutes, cool completely before cutting into bars. Makes 2 dozen.

This recipe comes from the Comfort and Joy cookbook published by my favorite cookbook publishers, Gooseberry Patch. Give yourself a gift of one of these fun Christmas cookbooks this year!

Fiction Friday: The Idea Doc

I have a Word document I created awhile back. I created it just to write down a few notes about some upcoming writing projects I had going on. But since then, it has morphed into something more... a dumping ground for ideas. I thought I would tell you what I include in case you guys want to create your own Idea Document. I like calling it an "Idea Doc" for short because a dock is where you park things. Since this is where I park my ideas, it's fitting.

Here is what goes into this document:

1. Current projects-- anything I am under contract for.

2. Ongoing commitments-- this includes any blogs I regularly submit to, magazines I am writing articles for on a regular basis, etc.

3. Books I have written (just because I like to see them listed out).

4. Quotes or lyrics from songs that I might like to use as epitaphs (epigraphs? epithets? the quotes at the beginning of the book, you know what I mean) in upcoming books.

5. Titles I think of. (I might have no idea what kind of book it would be, but it's just a cool sounding title, so I capture it just in case later an idea that would fit with that title comes to me.)

6. Names for characters. (If I hear a cool name I might like to use in the future-- male or female-- I put it in there.

7. Book ideas. In this section I write the title of the book and then a paragraph that reads like back cover copy. This is a way of cataloguing ideas for the future. Sometimes two ideas become one. Sometimes I will be working with a new character or a new scene and will need an idea, so I will pluck something out of another book idea. After all, I am not writing future books, I am writing current books. So I have learned not to save ideas for later.

I will often open this file and just spend some time updating it-- jotting down new ideas and making changes. This document is fluid, constantly being tweaked. I have been very glad numerous times that I have it. Perhaps you'd like to create one of your own!

Next Friday I will talk about the notebooks I keep for developing these ideas. See you then!

Thursday Thought: Your Questions Answered, The Final Installment

Today I am going to knock out the rest of the questions you all sent in when I asked for questions. My intention was to answer just one a week, but I feel like this has drug on long enough. :) So I am going to answer all of these. Hope you have a cup of coffee handy cause this might take awhile...

I would like to know if you have a couple tips/tricks on saving money in order to become financially free at some point. I would love to be free from debt but right now it seems like we can barely buy groceries.

The best thing I can tell you about saving money is that you have to constantly ask yourself "Is this necessary?" I found that much of what we spent money on was not necessary when we really sat down and listed it all out. So we started cutting everywhere we could. To this day I basically spend money in two places: the grocery store and putting gas in my car. And that's pretty much it. Why? Because I still really ask myself if something's necessary. I also learned to pray for specifics of what we needed. I included several stories about that being part of my spiritual walk in our book Learning To Live Financially Free.

I will say that making a menu using the sale ads from your local grocery store can be very helpful, having meatless dinners can save money, and breakfast for dinner once a week saves money too. Also I have several friends who've made a hobby out of cutting and using coupons. These ladies save TONS of money on groceries by doing this. Unfortunately with the other things I do, I simple can't add that to my life so I don't know much about it. I do know if you google "saving money with coupons," there are a number of sites that will teach you the ins and outs of that. My friend Sherri has a great site to check out http://www.luvabargain.com/

I hope this helps.

I'm so deeply burdened about debt and finances that I can hardly breathe. I feel like an anvil is on my chest. Not sure where to even start when we are barely scooting by.

My heart hurt for you when I read this question. I know that feeling! And I know a lot of other people do too. Please go back and re-read my post from yesterday. Spend some time journaling your feelings. Write in your journal as if you were writing straight from your heart to God's. Give it all to Him. Keep praying, keep working towards getting out of the mess you're in. It takes time, but it is possible. Curt met with a financial counselor who told him the only thing she could see for us to do was to claim bankruptcy. He came home and said he felt like God was telling him that wasn't the answer. So on faith we didn't and instead we made the commitment to do whatever it took to get out of debt. With God all things are possible. Even scaling that mountain of debt you're standing in front of.
Check out our book or Dave Ramsey's site or Crown Financial for more specific information and encouragement for your journey. There is hope. There is freedom. I promise.

I want to hear your strategies for keeping your house clean with all those kids and all you do!

I would like to say that my house is clean all the time. But I have committed to being totally honest and real with you guys so I won't say that. I will say that my house is NEAT pretty much all the time. Here are a few things I've learned to make that happen:

Never walk by something if you can go ahead and put it away. A little saying I heard (don't remember the source) is "Don't put it down, put it away." Usually there are only a few steps difference in putting something in its proper place. Those few steps are worth it, in my opinion. I am working on teaching my kids the same thing-- this works well sometimes and not at all other times.

Along those lines, have a designated spot for everything. You can only put things away if there's a place made for whatever it is. This might take some time on the front end-- buying containers, organizing cabinets, cleaning things out, etc.-- but once it's done, it's fairly easy to stay on top of.

Also, get rid of things. Purge regularly. Donate things to Goodwill or local ministries. If you have more than one of something, do you really need and use it? This will do a lot to eliminate clutter and make things easier to organize.

Many hands do make light work. Between all of my kids and me, we can clean a house in short order! The trick is involving the kids and giving them regular chores. We had a chore chart that worked well for a long time, dividing the house into zones (kitchen zone, living area zone, bathroom zone) and giving each child a different zone for 10 days. There was a list of what we expected for each zone posted on the fridge. This is worth trying if you have at least 3 kids who can help. Now I pretty much just write down chores I want done and assign a child to each one. When they walk in from school, the list is on the kitchen counter waiting for them. They have their snack and they know before they get to go play they must do their assigned chore. It works well! These chores might be put toys away, stairs (I put stuff I've gathered that goes upstairs in their rooms on the stairs-- they have to take it all up), shoes (putting away the shoes that have collected by the back door), a particular bathroom cleaned, the floors vacuumed, the kitchen floor mopped/swept, dusting, etc. Nothing takes more than 15 minutes. They know it's part of living here. They can put in 15 minutes out of a whole day. And we all reap the rewards of a peaceful, uncluttered living environment.

I do laundry every day. I have one basket for the whole house. When that gets full, I do the laundry. Not very scientific, but we never run out of clothes either. The kids for the most part fold the laundry and put it away. Sometimes if I have time or am feeling especially generous, I do it. Curt thinks I never should. Some of y'all have heard his rule: If there's something the kids can do then I never should. I like that rule.

I guess the moral of this answer is, keeping the house clean is a family affair. I am definitely not the only one making a mess, so I shouldn't be the only one cleaning it up.

I have a question about writing...but about a children's book (don't know if you can answer or not)! I have written the words to a children's book and would like to have it illustrated. I know one or two people that can draw, but wasn't sure how to put it together? Do they just draw on white pieces of paper or is there some sort of bound book I need to get?

I must admit I know nothing about children's publishing. I haven't written children's books and it's a whole different segment of the industry. The good news is, my friend Van has! Check out her blog to get to know her. She self-published her book, From The Pound To The Palace, and used a local high school student to do the art work. I love that idea!! She could tell you the specifics of how she did it if you contacted her.

I am speaking at a children's writing convention called Write To Ignite as the keynote speaker in February and I would love for you to attend! Check out the details here: http://www.write2ignite.com/

Phew! Done! If you've read this far, thank you!! It's a good feeling to finish up these questions. I appreciate each person who sent one and I hope that my answers have been helpful in some small way.

Psalms For Moms: Financially Free Christmas

Psalm 146:7, He upholds the cause of the oppressed and gives food to the
hungry. The Lord sets prisoners free.

Today I have a devotion running at P31. It's a devotion that I felt when I was writing it was going to be very important for someone out there. If that's you, don't be afraid of the journey you are about to go on. It's a hard one, but it's worth it. Take steps to do whatever it takes to get out of debt, to live free. Once you're on the other side, you will be SO glad you gutted it out. We are.

In keeping with the theme of the devotion, I wanted to share a verse from the Psalms about being set free. Many of you are feeling the oppression and captivity that comes with being a slave to your creditors, constantly working to pay them off, their hold on you robbing you of your joy. Curt and I know how that feels and that's why we shared our story in detail in our book Learning To Live Financially Free. We wanted to offer hope-- to share that there is a way out. It's not magic and it's not instant. And sometimes it has to get worse before it gets better.

But it does get better.

You have to make a plan and work the plan. You have to come together if you're married and not come apart. You have to work hard and go without. It's not easy. But it's worth it. Because at the end of all of your hard work, there is freedom waiting.

Our journey out of debt (4.5 years) was one of my biggest times of spiritual growth as we learned to seek God and depend on God like never before. He wants you to live a life of freedom. Very rarely does He send along miracles that instantly get you out of debt. Like any good parent, He's a Father who knows we won't learn our lesson if we get rescued and don't have to walk out the consequences of our poor choices. But He also will protect you and give you just enough to keep you going when you get down along the way... because you will. But it doesn't have to stay that way. He sets the prisoners free. If you are feeling imprisoned by debt this Christmas, let this be the impetus you need to change, just like it was for us years ago as we sat in a cold car and talked about what it would look like to be debt free.

I can tell you that I am glad we did whatever it took. You will be, too.

Tuesday Top Ten

Ten Novels To Enjoy This Christmas Season

I have to admit that there's something I love about curling up with a Christmas novel. I usually don't like cheesy sappy romances but when Christmas comes, I am all for them! In fact, the cheesier and sappier, the better. So here are some great new (and some old) Christmas books for you to check out from your library or add to your collection (I included the Amazon links for each one). If the idea of curling up with a cup of something hot by a warm fire for a heartwarming story is your idea of a good time, you've come to the right place!

The Christmas Letters by Lee Smith. I pulled this out the other day and read it in two treadmill sessions. It's more a novella than a novel. I love the premise. It's one of those ideas I wish I'd thought of. Three generations of women tell their family's stories via those Christmas missives we all love to hate. Lee Smith is one of my favorite authors and was a huge influence on me as a young writer. She's a great writer, plain and simple.

Comfort And Joy by Kristin Hannah is the story of a woman who gets in a plane crash and wanders into the lives of a widower and his son after she stumbles from the wreckage. A sweet story about trusting and loving again, this book held my attention to the end. That's saying something. It requires a certain amount of suspending your disbelief... but isn't that what Christmas is all about?

Christmas At Harrington's by Melody Carlson. I read this this year. It's a sweet story about a woman who's been released from prison and starts a new life in a small town. Through the gift of a stranger, she lands a job as "Mrs Santa" at a department store and her life-- and others-- are changed as a result. It's a good story and I enjoyed the fact that most heroines are not recently released prisoners, so that adds a unique aspect to the story.

The Treasure of Christmas by Melody Carlson is a 3-in-1 collection of Carlson's previous novellas. This one is sure to keep you busy reading all the way to the big day. The stories in this one include The Christmas Bus, The Gift Of Christmas Present, and Angels in the Snow. If you have a friend who likes Christmas novels, this would make a great early Christmas present for her!

The Joy of Christmas by Melody Carlson is another 3-in-1 collection of Carlson's previous novellas. The stories in this one are An Irish Christmas, All I Have To Give, and The Christmas Dog.

Christmas With Tucker by Greg Kincaid is the prequel to the book mentioned below, but it came out this year. This tells the story of the dad in A Dog Named Christmas... and why he's so guarded about having a dog for a pet.

A Dog Named Christmas by Greg Kincaid was a Hallmark Hall of Fame movie last year. A story about a developmentally delayed boy who fosters a dog for Christmas so the dog won't have to be in the pound. He gets so passionate about this fostering program that he lobbies for his whole town to also foster animals for the holiday.

I'll Be Home For Christmas by Julie Cannon. If you love WWII novels, you'll love this book from the new "When I Fall In Love" series by Summerside Press, a series of books that all revolve around famous songs. Cute idea! Of course it makes sense that they would do this famous Christmas song as one of their first books.

Call Me Mrs Miracle by Debbie Macomber is not one I've read, but it's on my list. Debbie has inspired me through her non-fiction: Knit Together and God's Guest List (just read that one a few weeks ago). This story is a Hallmark Channel movie this year so be on the lookout for it!

On Strike For Christmas by Sheila Roberts. I read this last year and I remember it being a cute, entertaining read. It kept me turning pages til the very end and that's saying a lot. I guess I could identify with the idea of going on strike for Christmas a little too easily. :) This book has been made into a movie that comes out this year on Lifetime, I think. I also saw that she has another Christmas title out this year called The Snow Globe. Looks interesting.

I've been playing with a Christmas novel idea this month while I am in the Christmas spirit (ie, in the mood to write about Christmas). So far I've written 15,000 words of it and am liking how it's coming. Maybe someday my novel will be on someone's top ten Christmas reads list.

What books have I missed? I'd love to hear your faves!

In A Food Mood: Goodies

I don't know about you but I am starting to think about all the goodies I want to make for Christmas. I stumbled across this recipe, and this one. Both of these are now on my list. For the record, I don't own any bourbon so I told my mom she had to bring some over. My step-dad is from Kentucky so they always have bourbon in the house. Nuff said.

Here is a recipe from my collection you might like to make this Christmas! It's a favorite at our house!

Chocolate Chip Toffee Grahams

11 whole graham crackers broken into squares
1 cup butter or margarine
1 cup sugar
1 tsp ground cinnamon
1/2 cup finely chopped pecans (chop in this and kids can help!)
1 (6 oz) pkg mini chocolate chips

Arrange graham cracker squares in a single layer in a cookie sheet with rim lined with foil for easier cleanup.
Combine butter and sugar in a medium saucepan. Cook over medium heat, stirring until butter melts. Bring to a boil and boil for two minutes. Remove from heat and stir in cinnamon and pecans. Pour over graham crackers and spread evenly to edges of pan. Bake at 350 for 10-12 minutes. Remove from oven and sprinkle with mini chips. Cool five minutes, separate cookies and transfer to waxed paper lined cookie sheets. Refrigerate until chocolate hardens. Store between sheets of waxed paper in an airtight container. Makes 2 dozen.

And finally, a shameless plug for my Christmas ebook, A Recipe For Christmas Joy. I have tons of recipes in it for everything from Christmas dinner to goodies to gifts you can give from your kitchen, not to mention our family's favorite traditions that you can implement at your house! And the best part is, it's a download so you get it as a file right away-- no waiting for shipping! I just love instant gratification!

Fiction Friday: Where Ideas Come From

People ask me a lot where my ideas come from. So, when I read this blog post by Seth Godin, I had to smile. I am sharing it here, but this is the link to the actual post. He has summarized nicely where ideas come from.

1. Ideas don't come from watching television
2. Ideas sometimes come from listening to a lecture
3. Ideas often come while reading a book
4. Good ideas come from bad ideas, but only if there are enough of them
5. Ideas hate conference rooms, particularly conference rooms where there is a history of criticism, personal attacks or boredom
6. Ideas occur when dissimilar universes collide
7. Ideas often strive to meet expectations. If people expect them to appear, they do
8. Ideas fear experts, but they adore beginner's mind. A little awareness is a good thing
9. Ideas come in spurts, until you get frightened. Willie Nelson wrote three of his biggest hits in one week
10. Ideas come from trouble
11. Ideas come from our ego, and they do their best when they're generous and selfless
12. Ideas come from nature
13. Sometimes ideas come from fear (usually in movies) but often they come from confidence
14. Useful ideas come from being awake, alert enough to actually notice
15. Though sometimes ideas sneak in when we're asleep and too numb to be afraid
16. Ideas come out of the corner of the eye, or in the shower, when we're not trying
17. Mediocre ideas enjoy copying what happens to be working right this minute
18. Bigger ideas leapfrog the mediocre ones
19. Ideas don't need a passport, and often cross borders (of all kinds) with impunity
20. An idea must come from somewhere, because if it merely stays where it is and doesn't join us here, it's hidden. And hidden ideas don't ship, have no influence, no intersection with the market. They die, alone.

Thursday Thought: Your Questions Answered

Here's a question for which I can direct you to some good organizing mamas!

I was wondering if you have any tips/tricks for organizing a very small space! I live in a small home with two children. We love to read/craft/play games/etc...all this takes precious space we don't have...any ideas would be appreciated! :)

These moms blog about organization and crafting. Spend some time on their blogs and I think you'll be inspired in both areas!

OrgJunkie

Go Mom Inc.

Mommy Coddle

Clover Lane

Psalms For Moms: It's All About Perspective

"Praise the LORD, my soul,and forget not all his benefits— who forgives all your
sins and heals all your diseases,who redeems your life from the pit and crowns
you with love and compassion," Psalm 103:2-4

David could have focused on his failures. Instead, he remembered and focused on God's forgiveness. He could have focused on his diseases. Instead, he remembered and focused on how good God had been to heal them. He could have focused on the pain of the pit. Instead, he remembered and focused on the fact that God had pulled him out of it.

Difficulties are going to come. Walking with God sometimes means walking through trials. But instead of focusing on your situation, remember God's goodness. Let it permeate your thoughts and emotions. Because whatever your past performance or present struggle, God is with you to help, save and heal. He will, because He is a good God.

EXCERPTED FROM MY PASTOR, STEVEN FURTICK'S BOOK SUN STAND STILL, p. 87