Last week someone wrote to me to let me know that the post I wrote about my bad day helped her to put me in perspective. She explained that she struggles with reading blogs and putting people on pedestals, and apparently, I had fallen into that category. I laughed as she explained how far I had fallen OFF that pedestal when I posted all about my bad day. I laughed because I have done the very same thing-- looked around me and decided that someone else surely must be handling life better than I am. I am guilty of comparing our finances, my marriage, motherhood and other people's levels of patience with my own... and coming up short. I seem to take my internal failures and compare myself to what other people have let me see.
I think one of the number one comments I get from people is "How do you do it?" That is a question to which, unfortunately, I don't have a great answer for. I usually quip, "Not very well." And they think that I am kidding. I thought about this today as I went flying over to my son's school after I didn't budget my time very well and needed to take him something he could eat, knowing full well he was sitting at school at lunchtime, waiting on his mom to bring him food. (He has had an orthodontic appliance put in his mouth and is in a great deal of pain and can't eat regular food.) What I didn't budget for was the line at the Wendy's drive through. And so, as I came running into his classroom holding his Frosty aloft-- victorious!-- I thought, this is how I do it. Last minute, off schedule, running late, flying by the seat of my pants, forgetfulness dogging my every step, praying for lots of grace all the while. My children's teachers know how I do it. My children know how I do it. My friends know how I do it. My husband knows how I do it. Because they see it all. The dropped balls (from juggling too many) and the chipped plates (from having too many spinning) and the ducks that never seem to stay in line.
And so, I guess that's my answer to how I do it. Do I get a lot accomplished in a day? Most days. But do I lay my head down at night and wonder if I did any of it well? Most nights. My life is a continual balancing act. And as I heard this song today as I left the school, I knew God was speaking too me. And I knew that I had to share this one with you all. Because I think you will all identify with being Somewhere In The Middle. That is where I live. Somewhere between the woman who wants to do it all and the one who, quite simply, can't. And learning to rest in God's love all the while. Because that's a great thing to be in the middle of.