Tuesday, September 03, 2013

It Isn't Just Me

My son talked about a song coming on the radio at the perfect time and saying, "Thanks God." I thought I was the only person who did this. When that happens I always feel like it's a message, a comfort, a confirmation. And I take those wherever I can get them.

I said to a friend the other day that with school starting back I feel like our household is hemorrhaging money. She said, "Us too!" This brought me great comfort and made me wonder just how sadistic I must be to be happy to hear someone else's household was hemorrhaging money. Not wanting to be the only one must be a human condition to the worst degree.

And speaking of not wanting to be alone, my son told me the other day he has FOMO. I was a little worried and asked him to tell me what that is. He smiled and said, "Fear of missing out." I have that too! I'm always the last to leave a party and hate missing events because what if I miss out on something?? Sorry son, this condition must be inherited.

I had lunch with my little group of writers the other day and we were all griping, griping, griping about a myriad of things-- edits, social media, family life, busyness, etc. The conversation had taken a negative turn and seemed intent on staying on that track for the rest of the lunch until one of the women got up to go to the bathroom. When she returned she had a bemused expression on her face. "You know I was thinking," she said to us as she sat down. "We started off this conversation by realizing that all 4 of us have books coming out next June. And yet, here we sit griping about where we are in life. There was a time all of us would've been amazed to have a book coming out-- an actual book with our name on the cover. And yet, somehow we've forgotten that this. All this we're complaining about? Is what we once dreamed of." She set us straight, adjusted our perspective, and got us back on a more positive track. I've thought of that off and on since. I'm glad I have that group to help me keep perspective. I'm glad I'm not the only one who reaches her dreams and forgets from whence she has come. And I'm glad for friends who lovingly remind us.

I've joined a healthy living group on Facebook and I must admit that I really did it because a friend started it and she was saying, "You have to join!" At first I resisted mightily (I don't have time for another group!) but then, the more she told me about it, the more I felt myself relenting. It did sound nice to hear what other busy women were doing to eat healthier, to get exercise in, etc. It sounded nice to celebrate their successes, to learn tips, and to hear about the days they just utterly failed. Because I need to know about all those things-- I need to know people can experience success AND failure. Because I do. It isn't just me who waffles between mountaintop and valley. It's also nice to have somewhere to "report in" and know there are people listening and interested.

I hope that somewhere in all of this "not the only one" thoughts you've been assured that you're not the only one either. Loneliness-- singularity-- was the first thing that God called "not good." Not one of us wants to be the only one.

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1 comment:

Pam said...

I am so a FOMO kind of person! Who knew there was such a label for it.

And your perspective about loneliness and singularity being one of the first things that God called "not good" was revealing to me. It's one of those things I've read many times but have never really stopped long enough to really think about it. We were never meant to walk this journey alone.

Thanks, Marybeth! I'm sure I'm not the only who is encouraged by the thought I'm really not alone. We're all in this together!