Warning: honest post ahead.
The other day my 17yo daughter and I were talking about driving. She told me a story about how someone behind her in traffic got mad and beeped their horn because she wasn't pulling out fast enough for them. I told her not to worry about what that driver thought-- to take her time until she felt comfortable. That some random stranger's opinion about her driving isn't worth risking her life for. After all, I told her, you'll most likely never see that person again.
This started a series of thoughts for me personally as I thought of the things I do so that some total stranger doesn't think badly of me-- when chances are I'll never see that person again. And yet, in that moment, their opinion matters too much. Whether it's the hesitance to dance to a song I love lest someone see me, or the freedom to dress in what I want to wear lest someone judge my fashion sense, or the courage to attempt something I want to do lest someone make fun of me-- I let other people's opinions weigh heavily on the decisions I make. People who shouldn't make any difference to me. How absurd is it that we might make a risky driving decision just because the stranger behind us might be miffed about our pause?
I wish I had an answer for this dilemma. I'm working on it. Trying to live like I don't care-- being true to what I know I've been called to do, without focusing on what other people think. I don't want to live in fear of embarrassment or exposure. I want to take my time, take risks, and take care of myself and those I love. Do I care about other people? Absolutely. But I've got to answer to God and to my husband and family-- and that's where my concern should end. And yet, I let it extend outwards and outwards and outwards. I could care less. In this case, it wouldn't be a bad thing.
7 comments:
Marybeth, I know exactly what you mean. Often, I act or do things that will make me appear like everyone else, when what I really want to do is to be different. I find it's hard to dance like you just don't care, or wear that top with the funky design. I worry so much about what other people think that it has become a problem sometimes. I totally agree that the only people we need to please our ourselves, our families, and God, but the pressure to conform and be like everyone else is sometimes overwhelming. It's not just you. Wanting others to see me in a positive light is something that I am struggling with right now. And it shouldn't even matter! Although I admit that some of the people I want to please are a little closer than strangers, it affects me just the same. Very perceptive and candid post today. I appreciated it.
You're so right! So many times, I don't seem to care what my family thinks, but I work hard to please strangers. Thanks for the perspective check!
Oh you are so right. There are too many things I do to please or to conform with people I barely know. How silly when you step back and think about it.
Yes, I totally understand and am doing the same battle. Monica
I know what you mean. I think about this a lot and struggle with how to impart wisdom on this issue to our 8 yr old son.
This is something I work on constantly. I think it's probably one of my biggest obstacles. Thanks for the encouragement to keep pressing forward focused on what matters :)
Loved this... I can totally relate..
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