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Thursday, April 01, 2010

Green Leaves


Some of you saw my tweet/Facebook status yesterday indicating that Curt and I had both hit a wall of discouragement. Several factors were at play in this happening, but I will say that it is/was a very hard thing to face. I do better when I have a good outlook and perspective. When I allow myself to slip down in that pit of despair, it's not good. But sometimes too many things hit at once and it does happen.

This morning my quiet time was on the value of work. This was one of the hardest quiet times I've ever had as every verse I read seemed to contradict where we are. What if your spouse isn't a sluggard and desperately wants a job... but can't find one?? What then?? I went to my journal and poured out my heart to God. And then I asked Him, again, for a job for my husband. At what point am I the widow who went back to the judge so many times that she wore him out (Luke 18:1-8) and at what point am I babbling like a pagan, not relying on my Heavenly Father to know what I need (Matthew 6:7-8)? I can't make sense out of these two examples-- which am I to do? So I speak what is on my heart and hope that God understands. Yet deep down I worry that somehow we are doing this wrong... that if we did it right, obviously this would be over.

And then, because I try to pick a verse every day that speaks to me, I picked this one-- which wasn't even one of my verses in my study but just one my eye fell to when I was on that page. "Whoever trusts in riches will fall, but the righteous will thrive like a green leaf." (Proverbs 11:28) Maybe it's just that our city is turning green as spring takes root and I am celebrating the green leaves coming back, or maybe it's that I know I have a tendency to trust in riches-- to put more stock in what's in the bank than in what God can do-- but that verse spoke to me. I don't want to take the pulse of this family based on what is or isn't in our bank account but on the path of righteousness we are walking. I want to thrive like a green leaf, not fall like a dead one.

And so today I will be seeing the green leaves in a different way than I did yesterday, as a sign of hope and a promise of what's to come. It's much better than wallowing in a pit.
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9 comments:

Mary Y said...

I did see your post yesterday, Marybeth and I've been thinking about you this morning. I am inspired by the thought of taking the family's pulse by the path of righteousness we are walking. What a wonderful perspective! Even when things look and feel so far out of our control, it's good to be reminded of what truly matters. Thank you for being so open on your blog and for sharing your thoughts today. I needed a reminder myself.

Marybeth said...

Thanks Mary! It's always good to hear that my honest, raw assessments of what's really going on around here hit home with people. It ain't always pretty but it is true! :)

Rachel Olsen said...

Good post - beautiful verse.

Terri said...

I needed to hear that today. My husband has a job... that he hates, and that barely provides enough income, and he feels stuck. I want to be encouraging to him, but anything I say or do is taken wrongly. Today I am going to glory in all those beautiful green leaves! Blessings!

Marybeth said...

Terri-- I have so been there. It's hard when your husband is dissatisfied with his work. God created men to provide and when they don't feel that they are or when they are struggling in their work it affects everything. Will pray for you today.

Mari said...

Marybeth,
God has you and Curt in the SAME position as my man and me. I could have written your post today...even though you say it sooooo much better! We both got discouraged last week and it was pretty ugly and dismal. Then I cried out to God and let my blog friends in on it. Their prayers worked, cuz the next day I put on praise music and although nothing has changed, my heart soared. It got better and better all week, until I thought my heart would burst with love and gratitude to God. But alas, again this week, as it goes on and on without any change, it's hard to keep positive and my mind starts to doubt again. But I am telling myself to believe and have faith that the God who raised Jesus from the dead can provide for us...always. I am praying for you both, as you walk this same journey. I believe God is choosing some of us to walk this path so our testimony can help others later, when things may be worse. We will have seen the hand of God provide in our own lives as some never truly have had to. Others are hurting too, and others have it worse than we do...but it still is hard, very hard, for us to go through this challenge. I am excited to keep hearing about how this plays out. Don't be afraid to share about it...I truly believe it ministers to others to see you be honest about your struggles and how you work through them.
Love you!
((hugs))
Mari

PS--As it may help others, I blogged about it last week here: http://marilarkin.blogspot.com/2010/03/tough-times-to-endure.html
and then the next day as to how God ministered to me here: http://marilarkin.blogspot.com/2010/03/this-is-one-gorgeous-terrific-fabulous.html

Arlene Grimm said...

Praying for you today Marybeth...I hope you and your family have a blessed Easter weekend.

Andrea said...

Great post and really good Scripture verse to grasp onto! Thank you, Marybeth! Always love your descriptive writing!

Love and blessings to you & your family, Andrea

toni said...

Goog Blog and great post