Welcome to all of you who stop by after reading today's P31 devotion on fighting. If you don't ever fight with your spouse, you can stop reading. But if you have had an argument or two with your significant other, read on. You're not alone.
The other day my friend Ariel and I were discussing birth order and which combinations make for the best marriages. She said that she and her husband were the combination that's supposed to work the best: a firstborn married to a baby of the family. Knowing the answer already, I asked her what the worst combination is. She answered, "Two firstborns."
Yep. That would be me and Curt. Two very strong personalities battling it out, willing to go to the mat over just about everything. Now we don't fight all the time, and we don't fight nearly as much as we did at first. But we can still get into a fight-- usually out of nowhere and usually over nothing. When we got in a fight a few weeks ago, my oldest asked me what we were fighting about. I told him the honest truth, "Something stupid that neither of us will remember later."
"Why do you do that?" he asked.
I told him, "That's marriage honey. Two people trying to live together all the time are bound to disagree. And sometimes they fight. Plain and simple."
But maybe it's just us. I know some couples don't fight. They are blessed. We are... not in that category.
So let's just say I've had to learn a thing or two about fighting-- how to respond, when to respond, and if I should respond. I don't respond perfectly all the time. Not even half the time. But every so often I do respond correctly, where once I had no idea how to get it right. Every year I get a little better at dealing with the desires that battle within me. Instead of acting selfishly I am learning to pray, to walk in truth, to take each thought captive and to be silent. None of it is easy, but it does work when I remember to do it. God wants to teach us through our struggles and He can use our marriages as training ground to make us more like Him. The trick is, we have to let Him.
And not fight Him on it. :)