When I first discovered I could put a stat counter on my blog to track how many people were visting, I thought it was the coolest thing. I loved seeing the numbers grow just a bit more with each passing month. I checked every day to see what my numbers were and liked seeing what affected the numbers. It became a bit of an obsession. I even let my mood be affected by my stats. Low numbers: bad day. High numbers: good day. Absurd, but true.
This went on for quite awhile. I somehow got dependent on my stats. Until one day I discovered that my statcounter was full. No more reports of who visited and from where. No idea of how many people were coming. At first I had withdrawal. I kept going back to the site to see whether it had somehow righted itself.
Day after day went by and I had no idea as to what my numbers were. And I realized that there is freedom in that. I didn't need to be tied to the numbers. Obsessing about who and how many people were popping in here made no sense. And tying my mood to those numbers made even less. I have ended up being really happy to live a life without numbers. It took some wrenching away and some time to move past my habits... but now that I have made the jump I don't want to know anymore. I just want to write here. And if you come, you come. I love that you're here-- but I also love not knowing if you're not! There is such freedom in a life without numbers... but of course as an English major, I already knew that.