Sunday, March 16, 2008

Just Like That

Just like that, my attitude shifts. From seeking the blessings to wallowing in self pity. Last night I cried myself to sleep as I tried to go hang up the phone and stumbled (because you can't hold a phone and a crutch at the same time, try as you may), landing on my broken foot. This morning I did not wake up with a refreshed attitude. I woke up feeling locked in this prison I can't get out of. I want to go for a run. I want to jump into the car with my husband and grab a cup of coffee. I want to enjoy a beautiful spring day with my family. I want to go to church together.

Instead, I am here. My behind is hurting from sitting on it for the last several days. And yet, walking exhausts me as the crutches hurt under my arm and my "good foot" gets sore from supporting all my weight.

And so, I post this just to show you that I am not handling this as well as I would like. And I am not always super spiritual and super positive. Some days I just feel absolutely awful. Today is one of those days. I told my husband this morning that if the orthopaedic doc tells me surgery will speed this up, I will take it. Because I just don't think I can go six weeks or more like this. I just don't think I can.
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Alyce said...

Hey Marybeth..I know how you are I don't have a broken foot and 6 kids..but I do have the flu and 2 kids. I thought I was sore yesterday because I had walked longer on the treadmill and used my weights more on Friday. But that didn't explain the upset stomach and the headache. I took some meds yesterday and we took the kids bowling. I really didn't feel that great once home. In the night was bad..I woke up w/ fever. All the while I am thinking of all the things that I need to do today, that I have going on. I won't be able to teach the sunday school class, I won't be able to give my friend a pie I made her for her bday. I won't be able to go to the Bible study/ luncheon after church. I guess I am being selfish, thinking of the things I am going to miss out on. Then as the rest of the family is getting ready for church my daughter says "We (children's choir) are suppose to sing on Palm Sunday". HELLO!! Today is Palm Sunday. So now, I won't get to hear my daughter sing this morning. On top of that, I tried to start a blog. But as I went to it this morning, I can't figure how to add to it. Meaning..I don't remember how I got to the page that lets me actually write. So.. Marybeth.. you are not alone!! If I had a laptop and you had Instant messenger, we could IM layed up in bed helpless!
At least the crock pot cooked lunch all night and that is taken care of..but I really want some biscuits..guess I'll have to get in the kitchen after a while to finish cooking.
I'll pray for you dear!


Owlhaven said...

Mary Beth,

I would say either TOTALLY rest that foot or get it pinned. When I broke my upper arm, I didn't do well enough at not jostling it, and it didn't heal. After I finally got it 'plated', the pain relief came within 2 days-- I'd been on pain meds for 4 months. My doc said I was among 10% of people for whom healing doesn't happen. Probably yours will be just fine. But I really think my trying to keep doing things contributed to mine not healing...

It is soooo hard not to do anything, but God taught me a lot about leaning on others during that time....


Mary, mom to 10

Elisa said...

Hey Marybeth,

I haven't been by in a while because I've been too busy to blog read. But you've been on my mind must be the Lord's stop by on the way to the shower this morning to see what was going on with you.

I'm home from church, too, as my middle girl has been sick with a fever since last Tuesday. I know that home bound, missing the world feeling. Yes, there are ups, when I praise the Lord for the unexpected turn in my schedule, but then I, too, cry myself to sleep and holler at the Lord for being woken just two hours later, and two hours after that, tend to my sick kids.

I'm sure you'd doing anything right now to care for your sick kids instead of being the one needing caring for. I will pray for you today, and add you to my daily prayer list.

I am excited to see how God will use this forced time of rest to grow you in Him and use you for His good work. I keep thinking Phil 2:13, and Psalm 46:10. God has been teaching me about those verses since I got pregnant with the twins over three years ago. It wasn't an easy lesson, but a blessed one nonetheless!

Love from across the miles,

Elisa said...

One more I just caught this on your sidebar...

"The continuing saga of a mom who is searching for five minutes' peace..."

ahh...the saga takes a turn toward an answer, maybe?

God certainly does have a sense of humor!

Lord, I pray that you would give Marybeth more than peace...that you would give her joy...that you would give her purpose and perspective in the middle of her pain...that you would ease the discomfort all over her body (p.s. wrap the crutches with washcloths under the arms and around the handles -- I have been on crutches 7 times, and it works!)...and that you would give her laughter and bonding with her family today!

In Jesus' Name, Amen!

Maggie - Mom of Six said...

All I can say is that those days are going to happen. I spent some days looking for blessing and some days trying to figure out what I hadn't learned yet just so I could say I had learned it and maybe that would speed the healing process...... Sometimes it takes hind sight to see the blessings. For the first time since I started having kids, I did not have to spend Christmas in some crazy frantic attempt to get things done. I got to (although it seemed like a have to at the time) enjoy my kids and actually relax. Not quite the way I would choose to relax but truly th only way it was going to happen. I don't believe God broke my leg but I am firmly convince He has used it to teach me lessons and grow my faith not only in Him but in those around me as well.

Amy Wyatt said...

I have been out of town and was just able to have computer access and catch up with your blog. I am so sorry that your foot is broken and that today has been such a hard day. If I lived closer, I would certainly offer to come by and help, but since I don't I will be in much prayer for you, for quick healing and for your family.
We are having a rough weekend too, as Spencer had two seizures in the night last night so I am funtioning on no sleep. We are contacting the neurologist again tomorrow to see if he has any ideas why such an increase in seizures lately (we made a trip to the hospital last Thursday). I'm praying for you and your family.

Wanita said...

Marybeth, My daughter broke her leg and tore ligaments in her ankle 3 yrs. ago when she slipped on a patch of ice. She had a plate and pins put in her leg and a screw in her ankle to pull the bones back together. Although she is not married, it was a very difficult time for her because she was working part-time as a teacher's aide in an elementary school and also working as a nanny. Anyway, I wanted to tell you that she occasionally used a walker instead of crutches, which gave her sore underarms a rest. Maybe that would help you, too. She said that after using the crutches for a while, her arms got really strong, and the soreness went away. I'll be praying that God will strengthen you and give you peace.

Laura said...

Praying for God's healing hand on your foot. And for you to allow God to use this time for His glory.

I know it's hard to be down when your life is crazy busy! I had mono for 3 months last year. It just about drove me nuts. At least it would have if I had had the energy! :-)

Debra Zantman said...

Whatever comes your way you will be able to handle. A friend of mine at 47yrs just had her 2nd hip replacement surgery and is on crutches for 6/8weeks. Just trying to give you some encouragment for the day. Hope you are feeling better today.
Hang in there! It will pass.