After spending most of a week alone with six kids, rainy weather, sickness and sniffles, and having serious conversations with short people in which I discuss in detail why we don't hit each other with stuffed monkeys, I sent this email to my husband this morning.
This is to inform you that your wife, Marybeth Whalen, has been awarded a day off from motherhood and wifehood and general familial obligations. Her designated day is Saturday, February 23, 2008. This will involve her being absent from your home for the duration of that day, in which she will run errands alone, work on some writing projects, and attend a baby shower. We at The Motherhood Emancipation Project have deemed this day necessary and paramount to her mental health.
Please note that this does not absolve you from going to visit a home she has her eye on on Sunday immediately following church services.
In the case of your objection to this notice, please forward all complaints to firstname.lastname@example.org. They will get to your complaint just as soon as possible.
That might just be awhile, though.