Monday, June 25, 2012

Saving The Daisies

There's this yard I pass every time I run that is filled with daisies, growing wild, haphazard. These daisies weren't planted in a garden, part of a landscape artist's carefully executed layout. These daisies grow where they want, in clumps with no rhyme or reason. I love running by that yard and always have to resist the urge to pick the daisies.
The other day though, I noticed that the homeowner was out with her push mower and my heart sank. Because I was sure she'd just mow under the poor daisies. It wasn't like she'd planted them-- that was clear-- and I was sure she'd cut them down just as fast as they'd cropped up.
Imagine my surprise when, as I passed by on my return, I saw that she'd mowed around the daisies, leaving little clumps of higher grass where the daisies stood. It made me like her, this willingness to save the daisies, to respect the wildflowers that some would call weeds. I felt like I'd glimpsed her heart.
This little story soon morphed into a parenting analogy for me: how I tend to just want to mow it all under-- bushwhacking my way through my kids' lives, cutting it all out because it's faster and more efficient and less time consuming. Literally leveling the playing field. I don't want to take the time or make the effort to mow around the daisies. I just want it done. Handled. Covered. But if I do that, they'll never see my heart for them. And I'll never see theirs. Saving the daisies takes effort, and intention. It takes leaving some clumps and letting go of perfection. It takes me embracing the wildness that is their unique beauty. And doing whatever I can to preserve it.
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Amy O'Quinn said...

I wasn't expecting that last part...and you hit home.

Sometimes I'm just mentally drained, busy, or just too worn out to want to deal with the 'daisies' in my children's lives. And like you, with six children myself, sometimes that's a lot to 'mow' around.

But I know that every single effort, both big and small, is worth it. And sometimes we get to see lots more 'daisies' bloom right before your eyes. You've given me a lot to think about today. Thanks!

Amy O'Quinn said...

I meant 'our' eyes. I haven't had enough coffee yet. ;)

Anonymous said...

As the mom of a teenaged girl, this REALLY hit home with me. Thanks, Marybeth, for reminding me of all the daisies!


Carol Baldwin said...

Nice observation. Bushwhacking...yep. It's the easier way of doing things, but not always the best.

Five Bees in the Triangle said...

Just downloaded the Guest Book to my Kindle. I'm looking forward to reading it this weekend as I hang out at Ocean Isle Beach. Congratulations on the release of your new book!

Anonymous said...

Beautiful post! My boys are 11 and 13 and honestly, it's hard to see the daisies (much easier to see the stinkweed ;-) Thank you for the reminder

seesawfaith said...

Talk about a sucker punch out of nowhere! It was just what I needed to hear I think.

I have been struggling the last few weeks trying to get from A to B and ignoring all the little journeys that could be taken because it is just easier to stay on my course. I had decided that those things didn't really matter in the grand scheme of things, but you just made me decide to reconsider some of my priorities this summer.

Maybe some of those little side journeys I have intentionally not taken could have actually been the grand scheme after all.

maryrmrz said...

Thanks Marybeth! I never would have thought about that but it is so true. I'll try to keep that in mind especially today when everyone one is doing their what they have to do in their own way.