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Wednesday, March 10, 2010

How Far We've Come


I spent a relaxing, enjoyable day with an old friend yesterday. She lives about 45 minutes away from me and, while it's relatively close, we might as well live hours and hours away for the amount of time we get to spend together. After a few traded emails, we decided the time had come for us to get together. Since she had moved to a new home on the lake, I volunteered to come to her. When we chose the day it was weeks ago... and snowing. My friend said that she hoped maybe we'd have good weather. At the time that sounded about as likely as me going for a swim.

We couldn't have ordered more perfect weather. And her youngest and my youngest got along like they had known each other all their lives. They promptly disappeared to play and we chatted and chatted and chatted-- catching up on each other's lives. She made us a delicious pasta lunch with fruit on the side. It was a lunch grown ups would eat. (The kids got dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets.) After lunch we sat on her beautiful porch that overlooked the lake and talked some more. The view was spectacular, the company great, the weather perfect and the conversation inspiring. We talked of our lives now versus our lives then. She's become a photographer. I've become a writer. When we met we were young moms who had no idea what we wanted-- except maybe one full night's sleep.

We talked about the changes in both of us since that time, and in our marriages, our families. She said that her mom recently said that she seems happier now that she's got her own business. We decided it's not really that we are happier because of our outside interests-- but more because we are less overwhelmed by our children's needs. The years where our lives were spent chasing and tending and wiping are behind us. Now we fret about different things-- college plans and boy/girl relationships and social issues. But we fret while seated.

We are still moms, just different kinds of moms than those frazzled, frantic moms we once were. We are more settled, more certain. There was a time when we both thought those years of raising little ones would never end and yet, as we marveled, it somehow did. We are not those same moms, but we are-- made better, stronger, wiser for having endured. Only someone that "knew you when" can fully appreciate the scope of how far you've come. Yesterday we celebrated the distance we've both covered.
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7 comments:

Ariel said...

Ah, for the chance to "fret while seated."

Mom Can I? said...

sounds like a friendship that time nor distance can divide!!! glad it was wonderful!!!!

Colleen said...

Being a Mom never ends... that's something they don't tell you at LaMaze classes! I have three sons who are adults, and though the "worries" and concerns change, I know I will always be connected to my boys in our hearts. Luckily, I still have one at home who likes to snuggle occasionally!

I had a sweet feeling last weekend as I received phone calls from the two away at college and the one who lives in town, as each phone call was ended with "Love you!" and it was initiated by them! : ) I love being a mom. It's the best job I"ll ever have!!

Angel77 said...

"Tending and chasing and wiping" is where I am now. I am becoming more relaxed as my oldest is 7 but the other two are 4 and 1. I have often said my job description was a "wiper". I wipe counters, I wipe floors, I wipe bottoms and I wipe noses. I am THE wiper! LOL! I look forward to the time that we are dealing with other issues but I'm not anxious to get there. I like this time as frazzled as I may be.

Angel77 said...

Oh and I get my "girl time" this weekend. I am looking forward to having an evening and next day away to regenerate myself so that I can be a better mom and wife.
How wonderful that your girls played so well allowing you to spend quality time with a dear friend. So glad that you got the opportunity and too hold of it!

Jeannie said...

Ah, my friend! The years melted away. So nice to reconnect. Thanks for capturing this for us. xoxo

Melanie said...

Sounds perfect...made me long for a day like the one you described. and loved your reflections on the mom you are today. praying for you and curt each day.