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Thursday, August 21, 2008

Unready


School for my older three started today. I wasn't ready. I wanted more summer, more lazy days, more room to putter and piddle our time away. I wasn't ready for alarm clocks and routines, carpool lines and lunchboxes. My children, while excited for a new adventure and a new year, felt the same. We were all in a state of denial these past few days as we bought paper and pencils, binders and uniforms.

I think with the move, a lot of our summer got swallowed up in some sort of vacuum, never to be heard from again. And now the fall is rolling in-- there was the slightest hint of it in the air today as we arrived back home after taking my middle schooler to his school. The three youngest played on our swingset while I did housework, all of us settling into a new life, a new routine. And as we did, I began to accept this inevitable turn of events, embracing the possibility and hope of a new school year mixed with the slightest twinge of sadness. I recently read that you only get 18 summers with your children. That's it.

And one of them just slipped by me. I can try to preserve it with photos and stories. But the truth is, it's gone forever.

I wasn't ready for it to be over so soon.
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5 comments:

Jill Beran said...

Thanks for your words today!! I taught school for 5 years, but have been home for 5 years, so as we plan to start homeschooling next week I am not ready!! The transition will change things a bit, I know it will be good and it's right, but it's hard to let go and move on. Not just to the slower simplier days of summer or in my case the last 5 1/2 years of wingin it with preschoolers, but like you said to an era we will never get back. Gives me a bit of motivation for the year ahead - kindergarten with my son, something that will go all too fast and when it ends I suppose I won't be ready to let it go!! Thanks for the perspective and reminder to treasure the moment!!

Sherri said...

I'm with you. We started this week as well and I was very sad on Monday and Tuesday. Summers are the best and I miss them so much when they are gone.

Christine said...

I know people who just wish their kids' childhood away. Every minute. It makes my heart break. I love how you love spending time with your kids. You're so right; time is way too short with them...

Oh, now I'm gonna cry...

:)

Laurie Ann said...

This summer did fly by! I can't believe it's "over". I will treasure the time that I did have in my heart. I know what you mean about it being gone forever and not being ready for it to be over so soon. While my nest is empty and there's no longer any School Shuffling going around here, I strongly pray for you and the others going through this brand new season!

The Gibson/Ramirez Family said...

Loved reading your blog this morning. Hope you are doing well and I can't believe that your oldest son is so old:) Wow! Last time I saw him he was 8. (10 year reunion)