To those of you who emailed me privately and said you were praying for us yesterday, thank you. All I can say is that we felt your prayers and God had His hand on the day. Little things worked that normally wouldn't have-- perhaps the most remarkable is my two year old sitting quietly through the whole service. I actually got to hear the service and not have to carry her out-- which is what happened with my other grandmother's funeral and another child. (Names withheld to protect the innocent.) It was nice to hear this final grandparent's funeral.
The rest of the day was nice, if a funeral can be that. Time to see people I haven't seen in many, many years. Time to be around all my cousins for what could possibly be the very last time we are all in one place. My grandparents were the hub, and without them there is just nothing connecting us all. And so we go back to being scattered across many states with busy, full lives. We all seemed to linger a bit longer in the church fellowship hall, saying our goodbyes and holding onto the moments we had.
After it was over we drove home and fell sound asleep. We were all exhausted-- a combination of emotion and heat, I am sure. Later, we took the kids out for groceries and ice cream, and talked about our future and our own legacy as we drove. What will it look like? Where will it take place? (The house is on the market.) What will our children, and their children, and their children gather and say about us? What memories are we providing? What character are we reflecting? Big questions-- but good ones to ponder. Even better ones to discuss with your spouse.
Yesterday as we left for the funeral, this song came on. And last night, as we drove and talked, I shared a line from it with my husband: I want to leave a legacy, how will they remember me? Did I choose to love? Did I point to You enough? My grandparents did this so well.
Now it's our turn.